So I've taken a little break from blogging lately, having spent the better part of 2009 taking care of business and taking care of my little one.  Part of what's kept me at bay has been the economic climate, which few would describe as rosy.  In spite of the stimulus package, in spite of the whole "Hope" thing, the economic world remains in the doldrums.

Or DOES it?????

 

Well this past weekend Peeled Snacks took a little excursion to the annual Natural Products Expo West  held in Anaheim, California.  We were understandably a little leery of heading out to Anaheim for the show, seeing as the East Coast version held in October in Boston was rather sleepy, and seeing as 2009 is, well, what it is.  But we went out anyway, just to see what the scene looks like.

I am pleased, Pleased, PLEASED to report that the scene looks rosy after all!

Shocking, I know but the show was busy, packed, and the mood was downright optimistic, if carefully so.   Seeing as usually I'm the "Sales Guy" here at Peeled Snacks, I had a whole heap of conversations with other sales people, and in case after case, companies were growing and finding markets to move their products, though perhaps many were having to think out of whatever box they might have spent the better part of the last few years in.

On the financing end, though, things were mixed at best.  Several of our buddy companies had found investors that have helped them fulfill all those orders, but plenty were looking at business opportunities that they weren't entirely sure that they could afford.  Here's where the banking debacle of the past year really hits companies like ours- when you can't get credit enough to make good on orders PLACED, then EVERYBODY loses.  Thanks a bunch, greedy banker people.

So once money and credit start moving again, I think that the food industry will be a place where growth, REAL growth (as opposed to REAL estate) happens.  Hopefully the guys that are shoring up the banks have that sort of movement as a goal.  If their efforts end up fruitless, well all I can say is GULP.

Two trends to note: gluten free remains a growth industry, and I'm all for it, seeing as there's plenty of room for improvement in that underserved category; and there are even MORE companies making freeze-dried or bake-dried fruit products.  Is it just me, or do all those products taste like dust and cardboard?  No, it's NOT just me.  Go figure.

One serious disappointment from the weekend- I missed the best NYC weather that 2009 has had to offer thus far.  Huge bummer, that, but I'll take economic optimism in lieu of the meteorological variety.  How pleasant to think that 2009 might have some promise after all....

Peel Well,

Peeled Skinny

Posted by iankusc at 01:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

So this past weekend Peeled Skinny got around to viewing the SNL-fueled "Baby Momma".  Around here we're all big SNL fans (obviously, it's helped that the writers have had their fingers on the American pulse for the past few years), and though we missed it during its summertime run, we sat down to laugh at Tina Fey and Amy Peohler's antics.  We expected fun and diversion, but nowhere on the DVD box does it mention, "This Movie Satirizes the sale of Food!"

 

Okay, obviously Tina and Amy were spot on as a baby-hungry career woman and a white-trash fertile crescent, but their roles had little to do with food.  Steve Martin's uncredited role as a stand-in for Whole Foods Markets founder and CEO John Mackey, however, marked a rare moment when pop-food makes its way into pop-entertainment, and actually has something to say.

"This morning I was swimming with Costa Rican Dolphins" says Martin as he enters the picture, ego unckecked and pony-tail unabashed.  His ideals are raging, though his business sense vies with them for control (with occasional competition from his libido), and his sense of tact allows him to steal every scene that he's in.  I don't know if John Mackey actually ever wanted to base a store-design upon a perriwinkle shell, but the very idea of it happily turns green marketing inside-out.

Of course the producers of the film use a parody of Whole Foods (called "Round Earth Market") to maintain some zeitgeist, to add an element of topical satire (some Harvard business grad is writing a paper on their satire of how WFM picks its locations as we speak), AND to pad the production budget- several of our buddy companies paid for some gratuitous product placement, REPEATEDLY.

Has Whole Foods Market become so ubiquitous as to warrant mass satire?  Or were the producers expecting that their target audience would also be WFM's target consumer?  The film lets Greg Kinnear actually voice some of Michael Pollan's criticisms of Whole Foods, actually mentioning Chilean Sea Bass.  Has Pollan gone "Pop" too?  Is the business of food now cool enough to be ridiculed?

Regardless, with Baby Momma, I think we can say that Whole Foods has it coming, and actually gets to play both a background hero AND a villain.  In the end, "Round Earth" helps bring the characters together it some minor way, and everyone walks away happy (I'm not spoiling anything- it's a comedy after all).

Raw Food, on the other hand, gets a delightful skewering that led to my favorite joke, as the film's two love-interests, misinterpretting each others tastes, end up at a Raw Food restaurant eating horrific Yeast Balls....

 

Confession: Peeled Skinny's WORST MEAL EVER was at a Raw Food restaurant in San Francisco, a meal that STILL gives me gas.  With all due respect for Raw-Foodies, I'm going to be giggling at this scene from Baby Momma for YEARS to come.  And I'm going to be glad about the magical combination of food and heat for all my life.

-Peeled Skinny

(P.S. congrats to Amy Poehler and Will Arnett for the birth of their new baby boy.  Life imitates art!)

Posted by iankusc at 12:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

So much to write about in this strange day and age- the economy's tanking, China's poisoning its babies, and Moose meat is suddenly ALL the rage.  I'll get to all those things in their time, but first things first: we really need to talk about how finally, FINALLY, it's cool to be a hippy....

See, the other day, while idling away in my lovely apartment in a particularly left-wing portion of Brooklyn, I received a knock on the door from a charming, clean-cut couple who handed me a pamphlet with a polar bear on the cover and then were on their way.  I figured that they were trying to save the arctic, as many hipsters in my neighborhood attempt (from, mind you, Brooklyn), though they were infinitely better dressed than your typical Brooklyn canvaser.

 

So a little scrutiny of the pamphlet told me that the Polar bears are in peril, and the environment balances on the edge of a knife, and that I must do something about it.  What, pray tell, should I do about it, according to the pamphlet?  Give money to Greenpeace?  Vote for this guy or that gal?  Stop driving our cars and instead use dog sleds?  No, the pamphlets REAL idea about how to save the Polar Bears was....

Jesus?

The pamphlet came courtesy of the 7th Day Adventists, who, in a move that shows that some of their "higher-ups" have their fingers on the pulse, have decided to use Global Warming as a way to attract new members to their faith.  To be fair, were I to receive a pamphlet that talked about giving up my Saturday to bible study, I might have bristled, but I certainly couldn't resist a polar bear, now could I?

Of course, it was cool to be hippy around the year 30 AD, which may be the 7th Day Adventists' point in their new marketing material that focuses on saving the environment.  But until I received that pamphlet, I hadn't associated any religion with environmental causes.  This really isn't too far from what Peeled Snacks is doing trying to give people a new association with Healthy Snacking.

While I'm not a 7th Day Adventist, and while I have nothing for or against them, I tip my hat in their direction for employing an issue key to me and my neighbors in order to get some attention.  I checked out their website, and found THIS fascinating digestion of WWJD about Polar Bears.  Frankly, I felt, as I often do, that I am nothing but a consumer, and my number, so to speak, is in the book.

All of our numbers are listed.  We are all target markets.  Anytime you want something, ANYTHING, take a moment to wonder how you heard about it.  Now pardon me, I've got to go save some Polar Bears.

Greetings from the melting North Pole,

Peeled Skinny

 

Posted by iankusc at 02:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

So it's been about 2 months since I've been able to publish a blog (if you failed to take notice, consider me heart-broken).  The reasons behind the lack of publishing do NOT include sloth.  I feel that it's important to explain exactly what's gone wrong here to that I can both account for my absence, and so that I can WARN THE PEOPLE!!!!

 

It all started after I reported back from the Fancy Food Show in July about the absolute glut of gluten-free products.  While I wasn't particularly trying to make a statement for or against gluten-free, I did squeak out that "Gluten-Free stuff just tastes BAD".  While this was in reference to most of the products out there, I was expressing it to contrast with the numerous new Gluten-Free products that were supposed to taste GOOD.

Well some guy using the pseudonym of "Joe Blow" took offense to my comment and blasted me in the comment section.  Apparently his daughter is allergic to Gluten, and he took my comments about Gluten-Free products tasting bad as a crack against his daughter.  He commented on my website a rather nasty epithet that involved me doing something to myself that I really technically can't do.

Alas, when he posted his comment, I published it, and unfortunately in doing so I left the Peeled Skinny Blog open to attacks by either this Joe Blow guy or agents from the ominous cabal of gluten-free-product-lovers.  The comment crashed the blog in such a way that I could no longer publish anything to it, nor edit it, nor change it in any way.  Job well done, Joe Blow.  Peeled Skinny: zero.  Gluten-Free Army: one.

Our blog is hosted by one of the big search-engine websites, and unfortunately it's big enough that it needs a whole lot of tech-support guys.  Now, I've actually had the pleasure of being one of those guys whose job it is to field technical support calls, figure out what the problem is, and devise a solution.  Having been in that position, I learned 4 important things about tech support:

1: Almost everyone with a tech support problem calls in angry.

2: Every tech problem has a solution.

3: Not every tech support person knows how to solve every tech support problem.

4: Because of #3, callers to tech support lines generally hang up angrier than they were when they called.

Sigh.  Had I had access to the behind-the-scenes guts of our blog, I could have solved my tech problem in minutes, but I had to go through middle-men tech support guys.  I called 5 times, each time taking an hour at least, and the first 4 times I basically wasted an hour talking to a guy that didn't know what he was doing.  Finally, with number 5, I found a guy who just, POW, solved the problem.

Here's the takeaway- if you have a tech problem, for anything from an internet connection to a printer to a database to a busted keyboard, and you call for help, IF the person you talk to can't seem to figure out what the problem is or a good course of action within 20 minutes, just HANG UP THE PHONE and CALL BACK!.  If I'd done that on day 1, I would've had 8 more important blogs published for to read than do I currently. 

Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.  Now back to FOOD blogging....

-Peeled Skinny, technically tech supported

Posted by iankusc at 03:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Sifting through the personal care products the other day I stumbled upon a Burt's Bees "Deep Cleansing Cream" whose bottle boasted quite a bit -  it's made of bark and chamomile; it's naturally nourishing; the company that makes it is "Earth Friendly"....  All that is good, right?  Though all relatively broad statements, (bark?  WHICH bark?), all those claims make some sort of stand, no?

But there on the bottom was a funny little boast, incongruous and awkward: "Made with 97.00% Natural Ingredients"....


 

Full disclosure- I LIKE Burt's Bees products, both for what they do for people's skin and for what the company stands.  I like that Clorox, seeing how big the product line could be, bought them out last year and blew up their distribution to include every-day, very accessible chains.  And I even like their design, though it's from a different era than Peeled Snacks' look.

So when I point out this 97%, this number, this STATISTIC, please understand that I'm not really trying to take down Burt and his Bee Hives.

Done- disclosure made.  Now then....

What the "H", "E", "Double Hockey Sticks" do those two zeros in "97.00%" tell you?  What insight into the product do they offer?  As far as I know (and I know pretty darn far), there's no legal reason to carry the percentage out to the ten-thousandth place, and there's certainly no CHEMICAL reason.  And did Burt really measure out the non-natural ingredients to be EXACTLY 3.00%?

No.  No, no, no, bucause Burt has better things to do with his time, and because it's all a bunch of hooey anyway.  The term "Natural", in fact, doesn't really mean anything, and the 3% is an approximation based on what chemical-ish ingredients the technicians put into the "cleansing-cream-mixer".   If said technicians were being exacting, they'd know that there's no machine in the world that could pour liquid ingredients with the exactitude required to lock into place a precise ten thousandth portion.

Burt is just taking advantage of all of our desires for some sort of scientific basis for the term "natural".  The word doesn't mean much UNTIL it's quantified, UNTIL it's hippie connotations measured by a goggle-wearing, white lab-coated bureaucrat with a mad-scientist-worth laboratory full of machines and sensors that can assure that your cream has NO MORE than 3% of "science" in it.

I am not fooled, and nor should you be- the value of the product not withstanding (I bought it, and used it this morning, and look fabulous because of it, thanks very much), the marketing department's assertions have little to know basis in the "truthiness" in which they steep.  But I commend them for trying to sugar coat blatant commerce with wiggly science.
-a Fabulous looking Peeled Skinny

Posted by iankusc at 04:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This guest-blog comes courtesy of our new Operations Associate Extraordinaire, Christina Rohrmann....

On June 18, the NY Times published an article entitled "Sweet Rewards for Apricot Explorers", telling the story of one Californian’s journey to find the perfect apricot for an American market.  John Driver’s ripe apricots debut this summer, while here at Peeled Snacks we are excited for the arrival of Apricot-a-lot, which also makes its first appearance nationwide, online and in many stores which currently carry Peeled Snacks varieties. Apricot-a-lot debuts at the summer’s end, right in time for the fall back-to-school craze.

CandyCots, used without permission

I haven’t yet tasted John Driver’s ripe apricots, but find them interesting considering the catchy sales pitch as CandyCots. According to Driver, these apricots, whose seeds originate in Central Asia, double the sweetness of apricots grown in California. Doubtless, consumers are looking for taste-value, as well as content and health-value. Driver hopes that consumers will readily buy CandyCots, sold in padded packaging to prevent bruising. Here at Peeled Snacks, I am now an apricot fan, ever since I tried the apricots in Apricot-a-lot. Before trying our new organic snack, I never really thought of apricots as all that delicious, either as a snack or a dessert. To me, they never really stood out in the grocery store.

My exposure to the industry has greatly increased both my knowledge and exposure to what I believed was an unusual fruit. This July, Patterson, CA held its annual Apricot Fiesta in honor of the fruit.  Apricots from Patterson are no longer sold at the same volume as they had been in the past, largely due to the fact Driver points to: California apricots are not as sweet as Turkish apricots. However, Patterson continues to celebrate the apricot and continues to find unique ways to fashion the fruit (ie, fried apricots to eat, the title of Little Miss Apricot as winner of the pie-eating contest, etc.). The fruit is something more than a sellable product; it represents a strong connection to the land and is a symbol of a pastime.

Here in NY, I may not have the strong connection to the land on which apricots are grown. Yet, as a consumer, I appreciate eating something which makes my day a bit more enjoyable. Apricots might make a considerable splash this summer to consumers looking for a tasty snack, both full of flavor and beneficial. I'll be following how the American consumer responds to CandyCots, and I will definitely be following and supporting Apricot-a-lot as a yummy snack. As a consumer, I'm concerned with the prices in this market. Will these new apricots be accepted in our current economy?  John Driver's seem a bit expensive at a SRP of $7.99-12.99 for 1 pound a box, but these days everything is increasingly expensive, including a simple gallon of milk. Will consumers be ready-buyers of these new products this summer? We'll see.

-Christina R

Posted by iankusc at 04:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

When you have a baby, it seems, people shower you with gifts and acts of kindness.  It's no wonder, then, that the population is gowing- not only are these new creatures SUPER cute, but there's a bonanza of benefits behind them.  As a foodie, many of the gifts that my wife and I have received are in the food vein- home cooked meals for those tough days, cookies for sugar crashes, and....

 

....a gift basket intended for the hippie foodie set.  Contents include:

Gnu foods Flavor & Fiber bar

Earth's Best everyday Lavender lotion

Glenny's 100 calorie Chocolate Chip Brownie

Country Ovens Cherry De-Lite cherries (with added sugar!!!)

Almondina bran treats

Celestial Seasonings Clementine Chamomile tea

Crispy Green Crispy Apricots

Sleepy Baby Music CD

4 individual honey sticks

1 sea turtle finger puppet

1 giraffe stuffed animal

1 starfish stuffed animal

You might think that the basket intended for people like ME- lots of products with limitied ingredients, organic skin care products, and finger puppets (sorry, I freakin LOVE puppets....).  This basket was sent by a really thoughtful business associate who I'm guessing is neither a Foodie nor too terribly concerned with the Green Generation.  So here's who this gift basket is REALLY geared towards- people who don't necessarily know what Foodies and Greenies would like, but want to sent their Foodie/Greenie friends something nice.

Very clever.  And very thoughtful.  The tea will be drunken, the music played (if my boy likes it, it'll go into regular circulation), the lotion rubbed, the finger puppets puppeteered, and the Apricots have already been eaten....

But Cherries with Sugar?  I draw the line there.

Pay attention to who wants you to want something....

Ian "Peeled Skinny" K 

Posted by iankusc at 08:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Here at Peeled Snacks' World Headquarters we're really not above the occasionally agregious breach in protocol, etiquette, taste, and sensibilty.  Example- when we cursed out ALL of our customers by sending them an email advertising Peeled Snack's brand new T-Sh!ts (it should have been t-shiRt).  Quite an "oops", that.  Of course, when I published my BLOG about it, I get more hits than EVER.

To commemorate that MAJOR goof, and to commemorate the entry of Oren Kelleher into the world, a MAJOR Peeled Snacks buddy (Thank you RACHEL!!!) and Peeled Snacks' Designer Extraordinaire (Thank you Christine!!!) got together and concocted a brand new T-shirt that fuses Peeled Snack's constantly hilarious falibility with it's sharp design sense and sense of humor.  To wit....

 
The NEW Peeled Snacks ONE-SIE!!!!

 

Just in case you don't have your reading glasses on, it says "Poo-What?" Damn clever, no?

And just in case you'd like to know what it looks like on the world's most phenomenal 5 day old model (I think that's not too big a boast, to be entirely honest...) here's the source material:

If that doesn't melt your heart, you should really read the Tin Man's autobiography. 

Happy Friday,

-the happiest Peeled Skinny in the world 

 

Posted by iankusc at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Surveying the beverage landscape, I'm seeing a lot of beverage companies segue from glass containers to plastic containers, which might prompt some people out there to wonder, "Aren't they RUINING THE PLANET!"

 Everybody knows that Glass is super recyclable, right?  And therefore a more environmentally sustainable packaging than plastic?  Plastic which is running mother Earth with its fossil fuel abuse and it's icky processing, and is filling landfills, and I'm pretty sure is killing the dolphins, or at least the manatees, right?

 

 Boy, is being a manufacturer in this day and age hard.  How do you do the math of environmental impact right now?  Sure, plastic has its problems, but glass has terrible impact as well.  It may well be easier to recycle, but it's a LOT heavier, and therefore more costly to ship (i.e. it burns more gas getting places).  And a recyclable bottle's only recyclable if someone actually, you know, RECYCLES it...

I'm humbled by the difficulty of making good choices in a world full of lesser evils.  We use plastic bags in hopes of encouraging better eating, hopefully leading to more productive people, less health care expenses, and higher quality of life for our customers.  But it's still plastic.  Will the "end" result, calculated 1,000 or 1,000,000 years from now, add up to an over-all benefit?

This is one thing that keeps the progressive minded manufacturer awake at night.  Sigh....

 

Posted by iankusc at 04:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Anaheim's yearly Natural Products Expo wrapped up this week, and MAN was it an eye-opener.  Frankly, it was a CAN-OPENER to the eyes, which might seem an ugly image, but facts is facts- this show demonstrates that the Organic/Natural industry is opening a new can of worms, and the industry's likely to be uglier for it.

 

Over a thousand companies descended upon Disney Land's convention center in order to tout their wares, supposedly natural and organic wares.  By no means have I been around for long enough to know all the ins and outs of the organic industry, but this was my 4th year in attendence, which gives me license enough to point out some trends.

For instance, some trends that were growing madly over the past few years are now fading into oblivion, like souped-up coffee, and the always bad-tasting Goji berry.  Other trends are just gearing up to make a mess of their categories, like Chocolate and tea.  HOLY MOLEY, THERE'S TOO MANY CHOCOLATE AND TEA COMPANIES OUT THERE!

But that's nothing compared to what really stood out at the show as "NEW and NOW":  organic or natural comfort convenience food- mostly organic TV dinners, natural microwaveable burritos, frozen natural pizza after frozen natural pizza, and even toaster-oven-ready mini-natural hamburgers.  The Natural Food Expo has finally discovered junk food, in a BIG way!

And that junk food is making the industries JUNKIER.  So much of show was trending away from food, REAL food, that Michael Pollan actually mocked the show's exhibitors in his key-note address, mentioning several offending manufacturers by name.  He was payed tens of thousands of dollars to belittle the humiliating trends promoted by his sponsors, and he couldn't have been more right.

In the spirit of hypocracy, I found one bit of junk-food that I actually really liked: WholeMato Tomato Agave Ketchup, who are taking on the Heinz empire with a simple, delicious product that was due for an update.  The snack category had few new entries into it, though the Jerky World was OUT of CONTROL!  If you like grass-fed Jerky, then Expo West was the place to BE!  Grass fed or no, I find the consumption of ANY jerky makes me feel like a flesh-eating zombie.

Shows like this remind me that our product really is great- it's a clean, delicious, simple (though not EASY- "simple" is rarely "easy") product that doesn't need to bost anything besides "Yummy".  Everything else our fans can comfortably take for granted.  

One more shout out- my favorite tea in the world (and, in all fairness, the BEST tea in the world, no fooling, if you doubt me just do a taste test, I DEFY you to prove me wrong, and will wager $1,000 on it, yes I'm that sure) just finally, FINALLY updated their website.  Do yourself a favor and go visit the lovely Himalayas at www.ineeka.com.  Better yet, BUY some.  Then send me a check for $1,000.

Posted by iankusc at 12:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

All me to refer you to the Onion's recent Nectar of the B-List....

http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/nectar_of_the_demigods_b_list

 

 I've often tried to encourage our president, Noha Waibsnaider, to assert herself as a food celebrity, ala Rachel Ray, Anthony Bordaine, or Dom DeLuise.  The identities that these people have carved for themselves through their associations with food are a: way cool, b: lots of fun, and c: profitable (after all, people do still pay Dom DeLuise to DO stuff).

But the article above speaks of when such identities run amok.  Consider the article a cautionary tale of what's wrong when celebrity goes to your head, finds nothing there, and therefore takes a detour to your stomach.

Much as I dream of making ga-zillions off of the "Noha Waibsnaider brand oat squares cereal", one major stumbling block remains- it takes a college education to be able to correctly pronounce her name.  With the precipitous rise in college tuition costs, that's bad for future revenue, and we at Peeled Snacks HAVE to think long-term....

Happy Friday,

Ian K, Peeled Skinny 

Posted by iankusc at 10:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Greetings Snackers, 

Just, JUST got back from San Diego's Fancy Food Show where Peeled Snacks unveiled its new packaging, its new ORGANIC Picks, and its new super-cool Southern California celebrity sales-rep, Megan.  It's been a month without a blog, thanks to, you know, the holidays, and then a vicious travel schedule, and of course all the flack from Johnny Appleseed's guest spot.  We're STILL cleaning up the apple cores.

So Peeled Snacks was a HIT out yonder on that Western shore, which makes complete sense given a: we're totally yummy, and b: those Californians do love their healthy food.  We'd pitched to them last year but decided against focusing on the West Coast since, well, we're New Yorkers.  But 2008 is the year we push the competition into the Pacific!  Its Mani-Feast Destiny, I tell ya!

But then again, WHAT competition? 

The Fancy Food Show has for years introduced all the best gourmet products to the marketplace, and been a great place to learn about trends.  But at this year's Winter show the trends were all of the unhealthy variety, and clearly were going to be quickly thinned.  The show positively ABOUNDED with 3 things: spreads & sauces, tea, and chocolate.  When I write "abound", I hope that you're reading into it, "bound to not make it to 2009".

Quick digests:  Sauces and dips have great profit margins and great shelf-lives, and there are successes out there to imitate.  But there's only so much room on store shelves for "tamarind-wassabi dip", and only so much interest for yet ANOTHER jerk flavored BBQ sauce.  Few of those dip companies will make it through the year, but since most dips cost a pittance to make, it hardly matters- not too much money will be lost.

Tea, similarly, has too many competitors, and like sauces they last a long time and have tremendous profit margins.  After all, any business that's fueled economies and rebellions for 500 years can't be all THAT bad.  But most of these "tea" companies are really just branding companies- they're trying to make tea sexy, or wholesome, or politically concious, or global.  I just don't see the market out there- who's going to pack $1.25 for a tea bag just because it comes from tea leaves grown by French Huguenot albinos in Greenland.

Chocolate is the WORST.  I mean, I have oodles of chocolatier friends, and I like them ALL, and chocolate just ALWAYS tastes yummy to me.  But how many exotic chocolate bars does Whole Foods need?  Like, 2?  Bars with curry, bars with lavender, bars made by Mekong dolphins trained by French-Canadian midgets, the world only has so much appetite for such things, and the stores only have so much room.  It sucks to be friends with 10 different chocolatiers (all great people), when you know that within 2 years, 9 of them won't have a job.

We've seen it before in other categories- 2 years ago, the show was PACKED with new, exotic coffees.  Now, they're all gone.  1 year ago, sea salt was all the rage.  Sionara, salt makers.  At this Summer's show, probably one out of every 4 booths was trying to sell Goji-berries in some form or another, but none of them even made it 6 months!  Want to know why?  Goji Berries Taste BAD!

But nobody bothered with our category, which means one of two things- either Peeled Snacks is well ahead of the trends and going to make money hand-over-fist.... or people really don't actually want what we have to sell. 

I'm pretty darn sure that we're just in the forefront of the trends, if not the trend setter.  We'll soon see, though.  2008 is year 1 for Peeled Snacks!

Posted by iankusc at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night, while excitedly wandering through Manhattan's Flat-iron district, I happened to notice looming above the street and enormous,  brightly lit banner announcing "360 Vodka, the world's first evironmentally concious Vodka".  While the banner itself made no particularly environmental boasts, a little bit of web-surfing and researching yields this conclusion:

The Green Revolution has GONE TOO FAR!!!

 

Okay, I occasionally enjoy a good nip of vodka, and I really don't want to give the impression (certainly not in THIS day and age) that I'm anti-green.  I trust that a lot of work needs to be done to make our civilization more sustainable, and that it's work worth doing.  Furthermore, I think green products, if produced concientiously, can really make a difference in how people live and consume.

Okay, now that I got that out of the way, I can totally rag on this disaster of an idea.  First of all, the very notion of a sustainable alcoholic beverage deserves some seriously belittling laughter.  If we look at the overall impact of alcohol upon our society, there's no way that "sustainable" and "alcohol" can be in the same sentence, let alone the same product.  I no tee-totaller, but I do know gas when I smell it.

The website for 360 boasts that it's saving the world through three important "P"s- it's Philosophy, it's Product, and it's Packaging.  It's philosophy, it says, is "for eco-awareness and corporate responsibility", though that's all vague enough to say little more than, "you know, you should really focus on the 2nd and 3rd Ps- they're really our strong suit".

It's Product, the website assures us, is made through a "highly energy efficient process".  Within this "P" we're told that the product is produced at a facility that has greatly improved it's eco-footprint "measurably" over the past 5 years.  Okay, so how bad was this facility 5 years ago?  And I can measure the degree to which I'm saving the planet since I stopped letting the bathroom sink run while brushing my teeth 25 years ago.  It ain't much, but it's measurable.  These aren't necessarily false boasts, just half baked ones.

The boast "nothing goes to waste" leaves me wondering if this stuff will make me go blind, but the most dubious claim about the product comes in a little picture below the "Ps" declaring "100% recycled content"....

Okay, does that mean that they stole all of the content of their website from other websites similarly exploiting the recent green trend, or does that mean that they've filtered their vodka out of the tablecloths of Russian wedding parties?  Or worse yet, the wedding guests' livers?  Either way, may I offer up that some things are best NOT recycled.

The last "P", and surely the most defensible, is their packaging, which they claim is 85% recycled.  Glass, naturally, is a very sustainable product, and though it takes a lot of heat to make it, it requires raw materials that are either being put to use in glassware, construction, or kiddies' sand boxes.  I commend 360 Vodka for taking the innovative approach packaging alcohol sustainably by using glass.  i wonder why nobody every thought of that before....

But all of this is hooey- if 360 is really interested in creating sustainability, then why was it brightly illuminating a billboard on a dead street in midtown manhattan?  What are they doing to deal with the epidemic of alcoholism in the world?  And are they pricing their product in such a way that even the poor share-croppers of Equador can afford to get drunk on their planet saving booze? [editors note regarding Equadoran share-croppers: irony intended]

Look, I'm all for saving the planet, but labeling everything "planet saving" just won't do it.  What it will do, right now, is sell product, because there are enough Manhattanites out there who WANT to save the world, but would prefer to just go get "faced".

360 Vodka may be a great product, and it may be doing its small part to push things along, and truly, I wish them well.  But the "green marketing generation" is just out of control.  Real solutions take a lot more work than just exploiting trends.  No pardon me while I go concoct a real "world-saving" solution. 

(That's my way of saying that, okay, I don't have any easy answers either, but booze, no matter how "eco-friendly" will never save the world.  It'll just make this mess easier to swallow)

 

A poem:

It ain't easy being green

first of all, you gotta be seen-

your word's gotta get out,

so you gotta SHOUT

"I'm good for you, good for us all!"

you gotta have balls, gotta have gall-

let everybody know-

your green way's the only way to go

and if they take a different path,

bad things'll happen- you do the math.

there's never been anything more eco

than you, it's not like you're speaking greek-o,

that'll do.

everyone will think it's true

it ain't easy being green.

sometimes, you gotta be mean. 

Posted by iankusc at 01:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Greetings Snackers,

Just got back from Baltimore's Natural Products Expo East where we showed with our favorite new distributor, Avenue Gourmet.  We met all sorts of groovy, smart manufacturers, and we managed (with the help of Avenue's delightful sales team) to move quite a lot of product.  Though we only sampled for a sixth of the show, we return with lots of new business and grand new opportunities opened.  But the show didn't treat all other so kindly.

 

Attendence at the show could be best described as "unintimidating".  About 9 out of 10 exhibitors asked said that they expected more attendees, and some used words considerably less accomodating than "unintimidating".  Not once while walking the show did I find it difficult to walk down an aisle.  Trade show traffic usually makes for frustrating moments where a huge glut of grousing show-goers forces you to sit at some random organic chocolatier's booth for 20 minutes at a time, gobbling up all their truffles in frustration.

While the attendence was low, there was no shortage of exhibitors, and next year's increased demand for booths has forced the show's organizers to move it from Baltimore to Boston where there's more space (and pricier hotel rooms).  Every scrap of booth space in the Convention Center was used up, and several exhbitors used to spreading out had to cram in to tiny spaces.  It felt like Manhattan in there.

In spite of all those products filling the Baltimore Convention Center's modest space, few earth-shakingly novel ideas were on display.  The inevitable "now Organic" stuff was there- Organic Frozen Pizza, Organic Ho-Hos, etc.  And plenty of exhibitors were offering up frightening infusions (pomegranite infused potato chips?  YUCK!!).  Some dog food and baby food innovations saved the day, but when it came to snacks?  Nada....

There were, as usual, some truly TERRIBLE ideas.  I don't mean to pick fights, and the people at this booth were really nice, but I want to present to you what happens when good people get bad ideas in the food industry: take cranberries, add some anti-oxidants, and ride a silly trend and you get:

Fruitaceuticals!

Okay, when I get sick and need drugs to feel better, I go to doctor and get a prescription for a pharmaceutical.  When I feel hungry, I eat Fruit.  When an evil scientist pours gamma radiation into an innocent apple, turning it into a rampaging, man-eating, monstrous behemoth of a freak of nature, I'm watching the terrible 1970s horror movie called "The Fruitraceutical from Beyond!"

The product's simple enough- infuse a cranberry with pomegranate juice and add some vitamins.  But the name is terrible, and the hubris behind it just sickes me- why is it that so many of these "natural" companies think that nature's doing such a piss-poor job that they insist on bettering it with needles and gamma radiation?

They taste like the very successful "Craisins", and I wish them luck with their srumptious little abominations, but jeez, guys, PLEASE come up with an appetizing names for your sick offenses of nature!

Happy Snacking,

 

Ian K, Peeled Snack Blogger guy 

Posted by iankusc at 01:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Greetings Snackers,

And yet, this blog deals with something somewhat non-snack oriented.   If you're the type who only likes to read about the latest in snack foods, look elsewhere.  If your mind is open to all things even tangentially snack related, read on....

So this weekend I was out and about looking for a power cable for something or other.  Upon taking my power cable to the checkout counter, I paid and asked the checkout lady not to put my purchase in a plastic bag.  She put it in a bag, so I said, "no bag".  She handed the bag to me, so I took the cable out of the bag and said, "I don't need a bag".  She looked at me quizically and asked....

"Why don't you want a bag?"....

 

Indeed, why wouldn't any of us want to have a lovely plastic bag?  Particularly when we've only bought one item which is destined for our backpack?  In a culture full of pre-packaged goods,  everything seems to come wrapped in plastic, from vegetables and grocery products to Laura Palmer.  With such over-use of air-tight sealing, why on earth would anybody need an EXTRA layer of plastic?

To take the purchased items home, in theory.   But what added value is a plastic bag when another bag, perhaps a less disposable bag, could do the same work without the dubious conclusion (i.e. get thrown out)?  I suppose that a plastic bag offers the buyer the chance to only have to lug a bag, ANY bag, only half of the trip (the TO half).  But the other half the buyer spends praying that said flimsy plastic bag might break.  Not fun.

When was it that plastic bags became a ubiquitous part of our culture?  As a child of the 70s (i.e. Star Wars Rocks!), I only recall paper bags at grocery stories until well into Reagan's days.  Somewhere in there, I suppose, some well meaning folk decided that cutting down trees to make bags was a wasteful, cruel idea, thus switching the a grocery store bagger's job from unfolding brown paper to unfluffling white plastic.

Plastic shopping bags are almost all made from Ethylene, which is a petrochemical.  By petrochemical, I mean, "Crushed, pressed dinosaur", since petrochemicals come from crude oil, which comes from dinosaurs, crushed, pulverized, and pressed by the earth for 50 million years.  Every plastic bag in your home may have once been a triceratops baby, or a pteradactyl wing.

When it comes to consumer packaged goods, I understand the use of plastic to preserve food.  There's even an environmental argument to be made- the antiseptic conditions created by plastic food packaging promotes health and well being in the species, cutting down on wasteful disease and insuring that the the health industry doesn't cut down even MORE trees in order to print even MORE medical bills.

But there's no environmental argument for plastic bags, and a slew of arguments against them.  Point in case: a recent trip to India showed my thousands, millions, HUNDREDS of millions of Indias with no concept of litter- everything just went on the ground.  That was fine while everything was paper products, because cows and pigs can eat and enjoy all the paper bags that they want.  Plastic bags, however, look just as tasty as paper bags to an unsuspecting bovine, though they have a truly dreadful impact on any one of the for stomachs trying and failing to digest said bag.

That, and the thought of smooshing and pressing a baby brontosaurus so as to more conveniently carry my groceries home just sort of grosses me out.  Apparently others are grossed out as well- Whole Foods recently made a killing selling $15 shopping bags to gullible New Yorkers, and San Francisco just made the darn things ILLEGAL!  That's a lot of baby brontosauruses they're saving.

I just don't get it- when did it become a good idea to put everything in plastic bags, and why?  If you have a good idea as to why, post it in a comment, and I'll send you some free snacks.  Actual credible reasons will also receive a free t-shirt.  T-shirts will come wrapped in plastic.... 

Posted by iankusc at 09:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Here at Peeled Snacks' World Headquarters, located high above the trees of Manhattan's Central Park, we have 3 favorite pass-times.  First, of course, is eating- whether we're trying out some new, exotic dried fruit, or dabbling in the latest variety of Dorito (Sizzlin' Buffalo Ranch?  YUCK!  Yet strangely scrumptious....), we spend a lot of time sitting, chewing, and then cracking jokes about how it tastes.

Second, we play a lot of Water Polo around the office.

 

And thirdly, we LOVE a good brain-storm session.  We can sit in a circle and throw names around for this or that for HOURS.  There are rules to our sessions- write EVERYthing down, give it a time-limit, and nothing is forbidden.  While we try to hold our opinions back, occasionally a doozy comes up that just demands riotous, crippling fits of laughter, and some are so bad that boos aren't unheard of....

Case in point- we've recently wrapped up the design of our new line, which we've dubbed the "Peeled Snacks Picks" line.  It'll be single servings (instead of the current double), and it'll be organic.  We had significant problems with the name though- there's two sort of "sub-lines", the "Fruit Picks" and the, ahem, "Nut Picks".  Yes, that's right, "NUT PICKS."

We spent hours battering names around for the line, and the Nut Pick name was a tough one to grapple.  It's a name easily contorted into a dumb-guy-scratching-his-crotch joke.  The images on our packaging have usually been the silhouettes of fruit- cherries, figs, peaches.... for the Nut Picks line, we COULD have a cashew silhouette... or we could have a picture of Tooth Pick.

To skirt around that testy political issue, we devised names for each individual snack in the line, all basically comprised of puns involving the principal ingredient.  I don't want to spoil the names just yet, but some of them are quite clever (thanks in no small part to our bad-ass interns, Brittney and Amanda), and all of them distract from potential jokes about itchy groins.

I've always thought that books and movies and TV shows all had to have names that couldn't be twisted into insults.  Yet critics and drinking buddies alike can spoil even the sturdiest nomenclature.  "ER"?  "ERror".  "The Departed?"  How about, "The De-Farted"?  "Atlas Shrugged"?  "Audience Shrugged".  The same rule, I guess applies to snacks, unfortunately, though it makes for entertaining brainstorms....

 

Posted by iankusc at 09:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My dear friend (alluded to in my recent GUNK! blog) and I started grappling the other day with my perspectives on poverty.  You see, I'm a bit of a conspiracy nut, in that I truly believe that America's economic engine benefits from cheap labor, and so we have numerous systems designed to keep the poor, poor.  His argument lies in the spirit of self-determinism versus "misery loves company", and while he expressed it well, I'll leave it to him to tell you all about HIS conspiracy theories.  [Ed. Note: My friend has no real conspiracy theories]

But let's get back to mine- America LOVES its poor, and makes sure that they're never in short supply.  There are all sorts of ways that we guarantee the supply (shoddy inner-city education, anyone?  How about limited access to capitol for minorities?  Would you prefer institutionalized racism?), but one of the perhaps accidental yet undeniable guarantees comes from FOOD.

 

Michael Pollan published another indictment of the food industry in this past week's New York Times, which he started with this strange puzzle: if you're a fat American, you're probably a poor American.  Hold it, WHAT?  The term "Fat Cat" assumes the opposite: the richer you are, the fatter (and, apparently, more feline) you become.  Well, that phrase no longer works, it seems.

And neither does our country's "Farm Bill."  Pollan, in his article, takes to task the current $25 billion "Farm Bill" (which has impact far beyond farms) for encouraging the growth and consumption of corn, wheat, and soy, and basically nothing else.  This pathetically structured, forgotten bit of legislation encourages industrial agriculture, and nothing's easier on the machinery than corn.  Hence, the cheapest thing out there is cookies full of useless high-fructose corn syrup calories.

I highly recommend that you read the Pollan article- there are MANY points in there worth toying with and mulling over.  But my take-away from it is that our government has sanctioned (nay, INSTITUTIONALIZED) the fattening of the poor by insuring that the worst food for you is the only food that most Americans can afford.  In short, we're paying taxes (about $100 per person per year) to keep poor America fat.

Right now it takes about 2 farmers to work every 1000 acres of American farmland, courtesy of industrialized farming.  The impact, on our poor, on foreign markets, on the environment, is tremendous and frightening.  But if we re-organized our agricultural systems so that more people would work less land, well we sure would have a lot more jobs for people, no?  For POOR people....

No, as Pollan points out, there's no easy solution to this problem, but the current situation helps NOBODY....

Except (back to my conspiracy theory) the corporation owning Americans who benefit from a cheap labor market.  This should make us all sick.  Frankly, all that High Fructose Corn Syrup DOES make me sick....

I wrote a poem about this earlier, and here is its encore presentation. That's right, returning to our pages from Mars are your favorite green skinned, people eating Martians, Zergplek and Metzelfark.  Thanks for making the trip back to our pages, guys.  Now please stop chewing on the intern's arm....

It's about time, Zergplek.

Yes, Metzelfark, it's almost harvest season.

Olympus Mons' Southern Face is turning

from amber rust to crimson fire,

and the Valles Marinaris runs full with squabe.

Zergplek, get your plucking gloves on-

It's time to reap the fattened terran crop.

Yes, all the fat little morsels

on yon planet so blue

will taste so deliciously like Cheetohs...

...and sweet, corn-syrup filled Pepsi...

..oh yes, and pepsi, 

at this October's harvest barn dance.

My moorsaphate has knitted me a snazzy bib,

lest I spill saturated transfats

all over my brand new vyxerpus vest.

Fire up the interplanetary drive,

and let's go harvest some fatsos!

Posted by iankusc at 03:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, I have this friend, a DEAR friend, a man for whom I hold tremendous respect.  He's an entrepreneur, and a successful professional actor, a great guy, and a truly fantastic karaoke-er.  He had me and some other friends over to his swank Central Park West pad last weekend for some relaxation and PG-13 fun, during which he introduced me to....

"AGEL" 

 

From the website; 

"Athletes use gels to pound carbs right before competition or in the middle of a race. What if anyoneother could pound nutritional supplements in the same way—when it's most convenient for them? Could a highly accessible delivery system like the one athletes use be versatile enough to work with consumable products?

The answer launched a powerful new delivery mechanism called Suspension Gel Technology."

I know the writing ain't pretty, but they make up for it with TECHNOLOGY!  Suspension Gel Technology, huh? Well, let's take a look at what's "suspended" inside one of their little capsules, the one called "UMI"....

In a  21 gram serving (.75 oz), you get Fucoidan, a seeweed extract proven by the japanese to actually kill lymphoma cells.  You also get some Apple Cider Vinegar.  Under "Other Ingredients," you'll find Water, Fructose (read: sugar), Malic Acid (an artificial flavor), Citric Acid (which, contrary to popular belief, ISN'T vitamin C but IS a natural preservative), Xanthan Gum  and Guar Gum (thickening agents), "Natural Flavoring" (whatever that is), and Sodium Benzoate, a preservative that we use for our figs.

Now let's look at the amounts:  The "Good" stuff, being the Fucoidan and Apple Cider Vinegar, amounts to 235 MILLIgrams, making it just over 1% of the contents.  The rest of it is sugar, water, and stuff that makes you think that you're eating more than sugar and water. 

The packaging promises that "UMI" is a powerful punch of Fucoidan, and offers a "wealth of benefits," though specifics are tough to come by.  Of the line of 6 Suspension Gels, one boasts a littany of added vitamins, but all of them are basically made of sugar, water, thickening stuff, and.... something else- vitamins, seaweed, ginseng, whatever.  The promises are bold, the packaging schnazzy, the product....

Well, come to think of it, I haven't tried the product.  If I'm going to be able to properly address it, I'd better put my belly to the test, so here goes, I am now ripping open said "UMI" and getting .008 ounces of Fucoidan....

Wow.  I feel like somebody did something in my mouth that I really didn't want them to do.  It's gunk, allright, and the packaging is such that you really do splurt it into your eat hole.  Overall, that was a frighteningly unpleasant experience.  However, if I happen to have lymphoma (do you hear me Fred Thompson?), then I'm at least .008 ounces closer to being protected from it.

It tastes, for the record, as if someone's trying to cover up the flavor of pencil shavings with a gross, artificial Green Apple concoction.  Said shavings are somewhat masked, but there's just enough of a hint to make me nervous.  So it's got a frightening texture, an unnerving (though not awful) taste, and dubious nutritiounal value.  Why, exactly, is it here?

Well, for one, it's being marketed through a "Network Marketing" system.  That is to say, people that sell it aren't actually selling it- they're just trying to get OTHER people to sell it, from which they get residuals, much like Avon or Amway or Albania.  No offence to Amway or Avon- they're cool, I think.  And I feel bad for Albania- they got BURNED.  Networking Marketing works wonders for high margin products, and AGel's certainly that.

AGel's packaging is definitely dangerously slick, and I can see a jogger slipping one of the packs into a pocket for portage, taking it out when he/she needs to "go to 11", and then casually littering said attractive package (but, it's so small, who'll notice?).  But the real attraction is the notion that this food is as functional as it gets- it's food without that pesky, you know, "FOOD" in the way- just the nutrition, or energy, or the sexy ginseng, or the cancer-killing seaweed agent.

Can you see why I'm upset that a dear friend of mine is involved in peddling this purported "pocket rocket"?  AGel is, to put it bluntly, huckstering the "Anti-Peeled Snack"- something that eliminates "food," that gets beyond "ingredients," that's so OVER agriculture.  It's the way of the future, man, it's Soylent  Green! 

It's proof that man is greater than his/her creator, because we can, through "science," root the sin out of the apple, the slither out of the serpent.  We can do better than food, we can do better than "seaweed."  We can do better than GOD!

I just have to find a way to root the "AGel" out of my buddy.  I know that there are people out there that believe that "Funcitonal Food" is the way, and that's fine.  Good for them.  They'll make some chemists very happy and rich.  Our target market is people that like to, you know....

...."chew." 

Keep Chewing,

Ian, Peeled Skinny 

Posted by iankusc at 02:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

California treated us well, as demonstrated by my significantly enlarged girth.  So now I'm sitting here nestled back at the Peeled Snacks World Headquarters in New York City, thinking back upon my time in California.  Outside construction rumbles and traffic grumbles, and though the city is beset by a sweet, warm, Spring-like day, Winter's death-throws are just around the corner, full of sound and fury, and freezing rain.

California had no freezing rain.  Though I'm a little upset that this Winter I've seen NO snow (a first time for me), I can't help but miss the Californian relationship with weather.  Northern Californians take their weather as it comes, much like having to put up with a sometimes charming, sometimes annoying sibbling.  Southern Californians, on the other hand, deal only with the thermometer, if that.

 

Posted by iankusc at 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

First things first: We just got into Amazon.com.  If you're shopping there, and feel like some snacks, DEFINITELY grab some.  The shipping prices blow our website's out of the water.  Thanks to everyone that made this possible.  We're very excited to be sold amongt such esteemed companies as Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" and "The Rocket Rod".

Earlier on in the California Files I mentioned my muchacha Dana and her Goat Milk Ice Cream company, Laloo's.  Though I met her only a month ago, she's turned out to be a pretty cool dame, and I can safely vouch for her should anyone somehow run into her and wonder, "is this dame cool or not?"  Take it from me- she passes the test.

Anyway, last week the Peeled Snacks crew met up with Dana for a little din-din and chin-chin, during which we spilled out all our goofy, confused, barely credible analysis of California and its ways and means.  By no means are we neophytes (having lived in San Diego for a couple of years somewhere back there), yet somehow there still remained an unanswered "Riddle of California" about which we puzzled:

Why are people here so "Chill"?

 

If you've romped out here, you know something about it- the placidity of people, the ease with which they trundle down the streets, the smoothness of their smiles, the evenness of their tones.  Coming from New York, I'm used to ruffled feathers everywhere.  In my adopted city, everything IS out to get you- the taxis will run you over, the shop owners will rip you off, the hustlers will steal your baby.  You have to toughen yourself, and that toughening, frankly, ruffles the feathers of the soul (and skin of the face, in the form of wrinkles).

Here in San Francisco, the taxis are, for the record, MORE dangerous than the ones in New York (the city has the nation's highest pedestrian death rate).  The shops are just as much of a rip off.  And try wandering through San Francisco's frightfully dodgy "Tenderloin" district without someone trying to pinch something, ANYTHING off of you.  And yet, in spite of such similar slings and arrows and outrageous fortune, people here just seem to have a firmer grip on their inner Buddha.

Well, these observations (and others, like marvelling at how the yearly San Francisco Valentine's Day "Pillow Fight" (see photo above), fought between throngs of 20-something hipsters out front of the Ferry Building, would never work in NYC, what with all the thugs, creeps, and weirdos) I put before Dana, imploring her to make sense of this mad, happy city.  With her infectious laugh she took the question, played with it a moment, and offered this insight:

"People here just get into a routine.  They find a groove, and run with it."

Ah-HAH!!!  What makes Bay area denizens function! So if you say "Groovy" here, you're actually saying something somewhat complex.  So get into a "groove," a routine, is perhaps, a way to take the madness that abounds in this area and navigate it.  Pick a life destination, chart a firm course, and stick to it.

I can relate this all to the selling of snacks only by saying that we're trying to fit Peeled Snacks into as many of those grooves as possible.  I'm positive that many a groove would welcome our yummy snacks, but finding our way to the record player proves quite a task.  You gotta admit, though- Peeled Snacks make a LOT of sense in the context of West Coast routines.  When we blow up here, there'll be wonderful, groovy repercusions.

Posted by iankusc at 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

California's suffered an odd winter this year, as Los Angeles received, gasp, snowfall, yet San Francisco has its driest January EVER.  Somehow, the Bush regime BS tact of renaming Global Warming "Global Climate Change" seems oddly apt as all those Angelinos huddle by their car engines (the city's only source of heat, I think).  The Bay area just got  its first blast of rain, though that hardly corrects the "change".

If anyone reading this wonders what on Earth the weather has to do with snacks,  then said person hasn't been paying attention.  To anything.  Two Fridays ago, an announcement by the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change basically amounted to an attempt to say "the discussion is over.  This is happening, and it's our fault.  Now, what do we do about it." 

The White House's reaction? "We agree with it, and the science behind it is something that our country has played a very important role in," or so says U.S. Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman.  Of course, this is the same Samuel Bodeman who, after Katrina hit, stated...

"We are committed to doing everything in our power to meet the immediate needs of those directly affected by Hurricane Katrina." Of course, he was speaking about oil company executives, but if words were deeds, he'd really seem like just the sweetest guy.

Anyway, all this chatting about weather and the environment and vulgar lies reminds me of the great state of California's tradition of pushing the cultural envelope.  Before dumping into the sea, this nation of ours (sometimes yours) takes some daring strides towards re-invention.  For 150 years,  the vangaurds of social change have used California as a testbed, sometimes progressing (John Muir, anyone?), sometimes impressing (HOLLYWOOD!), sometimes depressing (Nixon comes from here).

But the legacy's a dubious one.  After all, this is where "Car Culture" truly found its footing, and thanks to the highway system, you can no find ample parking in the rush-hour traffic all over the state.  In spite of whatever claims to environmentalism Cali might have, the Military Industial Complex has hooks deep into the state.  And for all the parks put up here, soil erosion and habitat destruction receive no reprieve.

Furthermore, most impacting on California, at least as far as we're concerned, are the labor policies.  I suppose that's a way of saying "most impacting one Peeled Snacks", but whatever.  All the people here don't amount to enough people to pick all the pears off the trees come harvest season, so the crop spoils, and "Shock-olate" suffers, as the farmers proved last November when they dumped several tons of wasted crops on the Whitehouse lawn.
 
A former part of Mexico, California now protects itself as best it can from "illegals", yet the whole day worker culture runs on them.  And while California is often considered the great socialist experiment, the homeless problem here is out of control, and most of its citizenry suffer from the same Health Insurance mess as the rest of the country.  The ideals and intents just don't match the reality.  Though, in all fairness, at least here they're trying.  Texas can't brag as much.

California's put a couple of presidents up there, but they were both Republicans.  Yet somehow the state is perceived as a liberal home.  Hippy culture started here (though surely its roots run to New York soil), yet so did porn culture.  Is this place liberal, or libertarian, agrarian conservative, or inclusively socialist, or just the dystopian urban landscape run amok as predicted by "Blade Runner"....?

Well I'll tell you one thing- it's a great place to sell Peeled Snacks, and an even greater place to avoid the snow storms of the East Coast.... 

Posted by iankusc at 02:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Ever been to San Francisco?  Peeled Snacks trucked out here for last week's Winter Fancy Food show wilth all of our New York muchachos enviously braying about how we were so lucky to be heading off to the balmy weather of California. 

You know what?  California is COLD, a special kinf od COLD, a COLD that seeps into your clothes and nose and fingers, and for a moment makes you think that you're not cold, but then gives you a terrible COLD.  Sure, New York's chilly, but at least there people are expected to wear gloves.  Here, cold weather attire is an extra handkerchief and a frienship bracelet.

Furthermore, in the East we have enough cold to realize that cold requires treatment.  We weather proof our windows and install functioning heating devices because we realize that, yes, cold sucks.  But in the Shangri-La that is California, the windows all seem to be terribly drafty and the heating units warm up a good 3 sqare feet each.  But don't worry, if you get chilly here, you can always borrow a mood ring.

 

So we brought our tasty treats out to San Fran, and (shockingly enough) they seem to have been very warmly accepted by the chilled hands of Californians (sorry, I'll stop with that now).   The Fancy Food show here is about a third the size of New York's July version, though it attracts a different crew.  Fewer Europeans, more "foodies", and almost no charmless New York style sharks (the kind who ask the price before tasting anything).

Naturally, we have the utmost confidence that our snacks will do smashingly out here, since Caifornians are known for their active lifestyles, their appreciation of good ingredients, and spectacularly warm weather (only one of those is a misconception). We were pleasantly surprised, though, when at the show we recieved oodles of orders.  Usually we shake hands, talk a lot, and the orders come later.  It seems that California was desperately in need of a good snack.

We went out there riding a glorious review courtesy of our friends at The Nibble.  It's always encouraging when a journalist really understand what we're trying to do and conveys it.  Such a sentiment we're hoping to find on this Western shore.  Peeled Snacks, as tasty as they are, just will never be a cheap and disposable as Pringles.  Thank heavens....

After the show ended on Tuesday, the Peeled Snacks team was desperately in need of a good meal, so at the invitation of a delightful and lovely new friend from LaLoo's Goat Milk Ice Cream (you know who you are, DANA), we swept down to the Mission disctrict's "Gratitude" Raw Food restaurant for a truly unique Californian gustatory experience.  The vegan menu is all prepared at temperatures at or below 118 degrees, which must make for a wonderful cool kitchen within to work.

It also made for some wonderful tastes (the cocunut soup was de-LISH), though the meal went terribly with the sake someone foolishly ordered (a fruity white would have been much better suited).  Perhaps due to my unfamiliarity with the rawness of the food, the uncooked nature of it meant that the next day my body was, ahem, "cooking" it (with gas heat, not electric).  Still, it was a marvelous experience, and Dana (you know who you are!) totally rocks.

We'll be out in California for a few weeks getting everything going here, so my next few entries will try to convey what it's like for a New Yorker (and former Southern Californian) to put up with the heat waves of San Francisco in January and February (that's the last dig, I PROMISE).  I'll try to be balanced and fair, but it's tough not to miss New York tremendously and take it out on San Fran.  Luckily, where I'm living has a beautiful dog (Sylvie) and its very own orange tree.  Life could be worse.  Life could, after all, be cold.

Posted by iankusc at 01:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm beginning to wonder just what it means to be "natural".  When a baby is born into the world, is the baby "natural"?  If so, when does the baby become "UN-natural"?  When he/she eats his/her first Pringle?  After finishing its first tin of Pringles?  What if the mother ate Pringles every day while carrying the baby?  Was the baby then ever natural to begin with?  Where does the line between natural and unnatural lie?

This weekend that question struck me like a punch in the gut as I got suckered in to buying something "natural"... and suffered because of it.  Allow me to give a absolutely emphatic thumbs DOWN to Blue Sky Natural Soda's "Jamaican Ginger Ale".  I believe that this is my first online condemnation, and I suspect that once word gets out, the thugs from Blue Sky will be knocking at my door and inviting me to "swim with the fishes".  But this news I just can't keep in...

 

I have of late developed an appreciation for exotic soft drinks.  I like how the bubbles sooth my tummy (yes, I call it my "tummy"), and I like strong flavors.  I appreciate the less sweet varieties (though never diet), and have developed a keen interest in ginger beers, malt beers, and ginsing sodas.  I've sampled many a variety, and stumbled as often as I've soared.  This weekend, though, I found the ass-end of sodas.

In a local bodega I found a stack of "natural sodas" courtesy of Blue Sky, and decided to give it a try.  At $3.00 a six pack, it seemed reasonably priced (there's certainly worse), and I'm always up for something new.  I took it home, chilled it, cracked open a can, and...

Suffered.

So bad in so many ways, I can't even begin to describe the let down.  The taste, while not at all akin to any ginger beverage I've ever tasted, IS akin to certain motor oils that I've smelled, and the smell of certain dead pidgeons I've stepped over on the sidewalk.  It was so un-drinkable that it made me wonder if its creators a: bothered to taste is before selling it, and b: if they have taste buds at all.

But I bought it, and I bought it because of its MARKETING; words like "natural" and "Jamaican" lured me in, as did its "Save Pets" icon and attractive, mountainy design.  Frankly, I'm the target market for this supposed thirst quencher (20-45, scenester, disposable income, influencer), so they hit their target.  But MAN, what lousy ordinance!

There's a slew of fancy sodas of late- the big boys roll out their tweeks (cherry vanilla coca-pepsi, kumquat-power-slice, etc), and little guys try to muscle in (Jones, Jolt, Tab's making a comeback...).  There are occasional attempts to redefine the category (dry soda anyone?), and occasionally products that could totally change the world for the better (like Fizzy Lizzy, and their superlative Grapefruit soda!)and some of us fall for this or that (but never, NEVER, for Blak- I like my coffee coffeeish).

But not every one of those can make it, though not all that fail are lousy (Good-O's West Indian Ginger Beer?  AWESOME!!!), and not all those that succeed taste of ambrosia (why, oh why, is there such a thing as Grape Soda?).  If, however, you're trying to pass a beverage off as natural, such an adjective just ISN'T ENOUGH!  Natural isn't satisfying on it's own... or IS it?

There's the question for Peeled Snacks- should we make a "natural product" (i.e. use ingredients without sulfites) simply because there's a market, even though it might taste bad or look bad or, you know, just BE bad?  Is "natural" and end, or a justifiable means?  Usually around here, we find dub it a GOAL, but that's not the same as saying it's a product.  The destination requires the journey, and so far, Peeled Snacks' journey has, technically, been an unnatural one.

But believe me, we taste a HECK of a lot better than Blue Sky Jamaican Ginger Ale...

An ode to the Blue Sky thugs knocking on my door:

No you can't come in,

you can't, I won't let you, you'll pound on my chin.

No, I won't open the door,

I won't, I can't, because you'll pound me to the floor.

Sorry, the door stays locked.

I've bolted and latched it, and with the couch in front it's blocked

No chance, you can't have the key.

I know that you'll use it, come in here, and then beat me.

Don't try the fire escape.

I've pterydactyls guarding it, and coated it with soda (GRAPE!)

There's no asking my Landlord.

I already paid my bill this month, so my cache with him has soared.

And don't bother with the windows.

I've set laser beams and booby traps...

...I really wouldn't mess with those. 

But should you try to come in here,

worst of all, for you I've got in hand,

a case of Blue Sky Jamaican Ginger Ale,

the nastiest of nasties in all the land... 

So there! 

Hello? 

Blue Sky Gangster men?

Where did you GO?!?!

 

Another great Peeled Snacks HIT...

Happy drinking... 

Posted by iankusc at 11:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Turn on the radio. Turn it to any station, either talk radio or otherwise.  Listen.  What are they speaking about?  What kind of songs are being sung?  Is Kofi Annan's final speech as head of the UN on everyone's lips?  Or perhaps the tumbling value of the dollar?  Or perhaps the success of wacko Mel Gibson's latest subtitled violence-fest?

No. right now what's on everyone's lips is CHRISTMAS!

 

Usually around the office here we play a college radio station (WFUV, Fordham U's station) known for its eclectic programming.  Today, though, about half the songs are Xmas themed.  Personally I don't care one way or another- just like summer blockbusters, Xmas songs come once a year, do their thing, and then thankfully disappear till next year.  Our esteemed president, however, HATES Xmas songs.

And she has some reason too- a sure-fire way for a musician to make LONG-term residuals is to record a Christmas album.  They make bank because they sell for years and years.  As a kid, I played my "Christmas in the Stars" LP (a Star Wars Xmas extravaganza!) till to grooves wore down to dust.  Xmas means money- LOTS of money.  And indeed, it means money for Peeled Snacks.  But what does all THAT mean for our culture and civilization?

Nothing too flattering, I'm afraid.  Black Friday gives way to Cyber Monday, gives way to crowded checkout-lines throughout December, gives way to empty bank accounts come January, which surely does make the economy flow.  But I find it a little disconcerting just how many businesses stay in the black thanks to the yuletide season.  We have a whole month dedicated to consumption.  What a strange spirit, this spirit of Christmas...

Though, in all fairness, with our Peeled Snacks Gift Boxes doing super-business online, and gobs of them are now being gobbled up (or anticipating being soon gobbled as under the fir trees they wait).  Peeled Snacks is taking great pleasure in the true spirit of Christmas, even as we wince each and every time Band-Aid's "Do they know it's Christmas?" plays.

A Christmas Poem...

This year, I won't be celebrating Christmas in Hollis,

Because Mariah Carey wants me too much.

In Africa, a lot of them know it's Christmas,

But probably not in Darfur, or Chad, or Somalia, and such.

I just heard Weird Al sing about Lynwood. 

Weird Al once sang about Christmas at Ground Zero.

But in spite of Winter, the Cold War is over,

and therefore, people think Reagan is a hero. 

If you want Christmas tunes with grit & with teeth,

I beg you consider "Fairy Tale in New York."

It's by the Irish band the Pogues,  who rock real hard.

And there aren't any Christmas tunes by Bjork.

Tunes abound this time of year

that pull your heart strings and make your eyes tear.

But if I have to hear "Baby Please Come Home" one more time,

I'll end up guilty of a VERY violent crime!

Merry Xmas... 

Posted by iankusc at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This past weekend, we here at Peeled Snacks World Headquarters took a little field trip to go see Richard Linklater's newest gab-fest, Fast Food Nation.  We've all obviously read the book (vigorously nodding our heads in agreement at every page turn), and we'd all seen at least SOME (I've seen them all) of Richard Linklater's flicks.  So we all hid our Peeled Snacks in our jackets (BBC for me), found our seats in one the 3 New York theaters still playing the film (it's done poorly), and took in the show.

What would you expect from a fictionalization of a non-fiction expose', huh?  Would you expect characters barraging you with facts and figures, and the villification of dastardly Fast Food Executives?  I went in expecting some tirades and polemics, and angry characters shaking their fists at every golden arch past which they drove.  I expected to see secrets exposed, and society shaken up by some anti-french-fry revolution....

Nope.  Nothing in the film like that.  Nothing at all....

Where the book is a disclosure of what's going on in an industry run amok, the film is a different bird entirely.  It's not a documentary, and not "info-tainment".  Rather, it's a humanization, an attempt to analyze the impact that the fast food industry has on people.  Linklater's film casts a wide net which catches up Fast Food execs, Mexican immigrants, idealistic liberals, conservative ranchers, jaded teenagers, and regular American families, and he tries to paint the impact of an unscrupulous McDonalds clone on their lives.

The film centers around a Colorado meat packing plant and the discovery by a fast food exec (nicely underplayed by Greg Kinnear) that there's quite a lot of cow poop in his "Big One Burger" meat.  He investigates, rubbing shoulders with the illegal immigrants who work the plant, poor families who eat the crappy burgers, and college kids who just can't find a way to wake people up to how aweful this all is.

Linklater's made this sort of film before.  The film's scope mirrors Dazed & Confused, which meanders through the last day of high school in a Texas suburb in 1977.  That film was filled with archetypes from everyone's high school days, and it asked you to find YOURSELF in the film, and think about where you were on that day.  It was like a Japanese Tosa painting where you're supposed to figure out who you'd be in the panorama.

Unfortunately, that makes the "disaster films" of the 70s its closest film cousins.  But the effect worked for me- I associated with an uncle (played by Linklater regular Ethan Hawke) who rolls into town and tries to inspire his niece to set high standards for her life (and diet).  As a marketer for, you know, this healthy snack company thing, I'm certainly eager to inspire good dietary decisions (and, apprently, good film-watching decisions as well).

But there's a strange rub in there- the most common target in the film isn't the meat processing plant (though it does come under fire), but the marketers who have to sell the crap that the plant churns out.  Greg Kinnear's character wrestles with the ethics of selling burgers filled with sh!t, even though he combs through chemical BBQ scents and thinks up BS slogans for a BS-filled burger.

But "liberal" marketing gets attacked too.  Bruce Willis pops in as a fellow Fast Food exec who defends the meat packing plant, pointing out that if you cook fecal matter, it won't kill you.  He challenges the prissy, sterilized notions of liberal foodies, and informs our sullen hero that "sometimes, we all have to eat a little sh!t."  Willis nails his delivery, and skewers the films supposedly liberal premise.

Likewise, when the college kids dream up a scheme to wake everyone up to how wrong it all is, they just can't understand why no-one gets the point.  There's an unsubtle allegory involving a bunch of cows NOT wanting to be freed from their captivity "get it?  The HERD doesn't WANT to be free...", and the puzzlement on the co-eds faces reminded me of the morning after George Bush got ellected the second time around ("you mean people really ARE that stupid?!?!").

A lot of pot-shots are taken at America today, from the abuse of eminent domain to the patriot act, from the illegal immigrant question to metha-emphetamine abuse, and all of it underscores Linklater's clear goal of using the Fast Food industry as a symbol of over-arching societal ills.  He's taking on exploitation, but is perhaps more concerned with apathy in the face of exploitation (see Borat).  Frankly he's attacking every marketer everywhere, and every schmoe that buys our stupid little spiels.

To that end, it really shouldn't be "Fast Food Nation: the Movie", it should be "Upton Sinclair's The Jungle: the Movie"- Sinclair's novel coaxed the federal government into overhauling the meat packing industry, but that wasn't Sinclair's target.  He was aiming for the impact on the PEOPLE in the industry, not the cuts of meat.  Linklater doesn't care about the statistics- he just wants you to understand the human cost.

That take on the material actually rubbed Peeled Snacks' founder and president quite wrong.  She found the film rather pointless, and was let down by the lack of any call to action (beyond a request to go to www.participate.net that played over the closing credits).  Likely many viewers expecting a rallying cry will be similarly dissappointed.  But it's a film, not a protest, and it works best as drama, not revolution.

Posted by iankusc at 11:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

How do you like your snacks?  Do you like them salty, or sweet?  Do you like them healthy, or sinful?  Do you snack for flavor, or to fill the belly?  What's your favorite snack, and what's your least favorite? Everyone'll have a different answer, as everybody (and every BODY) has his/her/its own tastes and needs.  But lately, this crazy health-food trend has taken on conventional ideas about snacks and snacking, and those of us trying to help the hungry masses survive from 4pm till the end of work are scrambling to keep up.

Thus I submit to you a noble attempt by our friends at Frito Lay to make a buck off this crazy health stuff.  Please be warned that the following article contains vulgar language...

Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line Of Healthy Snacks

 

Snacking trends are tough to keep up with, so hats off to Frito-Lay for getting on the bland/healthy bandwagon.  For the record, though, this article raises a doozy of a conundrum faced by all of us snack manufacturers- how do you deal with social or cultural trends that contradict basic biology? We are (all of us that might read this blog, anyway) basically overgrown monkeys (or divine creations, if you prefer), and we all somehow are programmed at a very deep level to savor salt, crave fat, and slurp up sugar whenever possible.  And NONE of those cravings are met by particle-board-like parsnip crisps.

In a strange way, I feel for the beleaguered and bitter Frito-Lay CEO Carey as he rails against health nuts and their unwanted impact upon his products.  We struggle right now against the Whole Foods mandate that none of the food they sell (except their red wine) contain sulfites.  Please don't get me started on sulfites.  I'll simply say that 90% of what I hear about sulfites is just wrong, and unless you have asthma, you have nothing to fear from the SMIDGE of sulfites in our products.

And yet, here we are, preparing to roll out a sulfite-free product come January or February, solely to cater to unfounded food trends.  Sigh.

Here at Peeled Snacks World Headquarters we regularly scrutinize our competition (as ought every good corporation).  We comb through snack racks and bins at the check-out counters, looking for trends, new products, and updates to classic snacks (like last January's  "Doritos Bag" update.  Frankly, we're all still in shock).  Everyone here had their own sort of "snack specialty"- there's the trail mix chick, the everything-with-seeds lady, the candy girl; I count as the chips and crisps dude.  Lucky me.

Any irony you might find in a bunch of healthy-snack peddlers eating blatantly awful snacks, please keep to yourself.  It's important to know what the kids are noshing on these days, and insights gained from seeing the bright colors behind the glass at a vending machine simply DO NOT COMPARE to actually tasting the lurid staleness within.  Most of the snacks we buy to try go uneaten, either because we have other snacks to try, or because they're just gross.

One final note- congrats to the Democratic Party, who (thanks to the endless campaigning and leadership of George W. Bush) have just taken over 1/3 of our government.  I recommend that, whatever happens in the next two years, you all DON'T SCREW IT UP!!!!

 

An Ode to Frito-Lay

I'm pretty sure that they put that salty powder on there

on purpose.

They coat their chips and curls with grains of flavor

and salt,

and after every cheetoh moves from oranged fingers

to mouth,

I must wash my cheetoh grabbing digits clean with my lips

and tongue.

Should perhaps I worry about my saliva-coated fingers

and thumb,

when sharing my Doritos, Cheetohs, or lime-drenched Tostitos,

so addictive?

Or does that orange and yellow dust somehow cauderize

all hands?

I think I'd rather not know, and just finish

my bag. 

Posted by iankusc at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

America used to be a great labor pool.  Our nation was founded not on but via cheap labor- look in an original draft of the Constitution and you'll see that slaves were, if not fully American, at least worth two thirds of one.  As citizens slowly woke up to that terrible math, we opened our doors (or, er, ports) to Germans, Jews, Italians, Irish (begrudgingly), Chinese (till 1882), and so on.  We constantly refilled our labor coffers and bred prosperity, if not in the most recent arrivals, at least in the 2nd or third most recent newbies.

Check out this article about labor in agriculture right now, courtesy of the NYT.  It's a fascinating dissection of the breakdown in the US when it comes to dealing with labor woes.  Just how is it that orchard owners in California's Central Valley have come to be so nervous about China's Jiangxi province?  And why should this have SO much to do with kooks like the Minutemen?

By stopping the flow of "illegal" immigration from Mexico, we are indeed upholding the letter of the law.  But by not dealing with the real issue of what those immigrants offer to our workforce, we're shooting ourselves in the foot.  Would you like to pick pears for $100 a day?  If you said yes, then why don't you?  Would you be upset if someone that said "yes" really got an opportunity to do so?

China's might right now lies not in its military or its scientific infrastructure, but rather in its labor force.  They've 4 times the number of citizens that we do, and their political/economic systems allows them to do what they will with said workforce.  It's sad and frustrating to me that we're willing to outsource everything to China, rather than actually compete with it.  But that sure seems to be what's going down...

 

Posted by iankusc at 09:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

So yesterday my wonderful mother-and-father-in-law (yes, they defy such in-law stereotypes by being wonderful, no I'm not being ironic, and yes, they do come as a poly-hyphenate) returned from a 4 week bit of TRAVEL to Argentina and the bottom of the known world.  They returned to the Northen Hemisphere raving about such things as the landscape of Patagonia, the architecture and design of Buenos Aires, the quality of the food outside of America, and the warmth of Southern (and I mean SOUTHERN) culture).

I spent some time perusing the photos which they kindly posted online for all the world to see.  There was Iguazu falls, roaring mightily.  There were the wide boulevards on BA.  There were the seemingly alpine lakes of Barriloche.  And there were the ice-fields of Tierra Del Fuego.  My tears got all misty thinking of their journey and how, well, I didn't get to go on it.

 Take a moment and consider that there are VACATIONS, and there is TRAVEL.  A VACATION is supposed to be a fun, relaxing getaway trip full of room service, drinks out of which stick funny little umbrellas, and slinky bikinis.  TRAVEL, on the otherhand, is not a get-AWAY, but rather a get-TO: the purpose is to go to a place and see what it's all about.  When you TRAVEL, you see the good AND the bad of a place.  On a VACATION, you just see the bar (or the spa, or the casino, or whatever's around that's pretty).

I'm a consumate traveller- seeing the world is basically what I want to do with my life.  And travelling is one of the crucial reasons that Peeled Snacks exists.  Our founder and spiritual leader (jk) came up with the idea in an airport when she couldn't find anything that she wanted to eat.  Therefore there's a strong link in my mind every day between what we do here at Peeled Snacks and what I want to do with my life...

Luckily Peeled Snacks are popping up in more and more airports all over the country.  The more the merrier, I say, because there's nothing worse that groggy, crabby travellers.  Peeled Snacks is one way to arrive, you know, snappy and happy.  But I'm just schilling here.  I've got REAL stuff that I should be writing...

 

Posted by iankusc at 02:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

So yesterday Peeled Snacks' new chic, sexy t-shirt made its debut at New York's sensational, somewhat slightly ridiculous Fashion Week, where all the glitterati and fashionistas were on display to applaud our simple yet essential new statement, marvel at the beauty of our runway model (thank you Laura), and then go back to looking for Lindsey Lohan.  We had a small crew on hand to record some of the goings on, and hopefully we'll post some footage from the event in the next couple of days.

Unfortunately, the crew wasn't recording the actual runway debut of the shirt.  If anyone, perhaps, recorded in hi-def digital in the main auditorium yesterday from 1:30 to 1:50, I'd pay good money for your footage.  Or, well, I'd send you a lot of free t-shirts.  Would you prefer to be paid in snacks, perhaps?

There's been a great deal of buildup to the release of these tees.  Starting back in June, we had a designer put together some baseball tees to show off at a food expo (see the Peel Me blog entry from July).  At that point we elected to use the catchy, sexy slogan Peel Me.  That of course made quite am impression, sometimes though a bit too much of one.  Peel Me certainly garnered attention, though too often it led to off comments by VERY excited conventioneers.

One very unexpected yet pleasant reaction to those shirts heard from many was "where can I get one?"  I loved hearing that- it meant that I could finally start transitioning from my dream job as a snack magnate to my other dream job as a fashion maven.  But as we'd only printed 10 Peel Me shirts, we didn't have any way to spread the love.

Over the next month or so, our most worthy intern Rachel (or, as we like to call her, Rachelcalafrajalistic) put together a plan to get more T-shirts out there, and with the help of our great base of customers, we came up, via a submission competition, a new t-shirt slogan to replace the not-ready-for-primetime Peel Me.  Courtesy of Stephen Lahey, a customer from upstate New York, we chose a-peeling.  And the ball started to roll...

So when these goodies arrived last week, we weren't sure just how to debut them.  We considered donating a bunch of them to the New York Yankees, but it turned out that they already had baseball shirts of their own, go figure.  We thought about stapling them to the hull of Space Shuttle Atlantis, but cooler minds prevailed.  For a while we were in negotiations with the George Dubya Bush posse, and there was a moment there when it looked like he'd wear one for his fear mongering, er, 9/11 memorial speech last night, but as he insisted upon wearing the shirt and nothing else, we had to back out.

When someone in the room proposed debuting the shirt at New York's ultra-cool Fashion Week, the seven other people in the room simultaneously all slapped ourselves in the forehead, and immediately afterwards all simultaneously groaned "DOH!"  Considering that designers spend months planning the show, and spends thousands of dollars (if not millions) getting everything worked out, with 2 days to go and a budget consisting of pocket change, we put our plan in motion...

In a few days you'll see the amazing results.  I have about a zillion people to thank, but as I bribed most of them, I'll just give my sincerest thanks out to the LOVELY and talented Laura Valpey and my SUPER-cool, ultra-cunning cousin Andrew Maloney.  Without their help, we'd never have been able to drug the security guards and take those incriminating photos of the judges...

Poem for the day:

No, seriously Mr. security guard sir,

Ms. Lopez-Anthony NEEDS her snacks.

She called me personally,

not even using ONE of her 18 surly assistants,

because she had grown peckish,

and knew that if she went through her usual channels,

she'd have to ruin someone's life.

PLEASE, Mr. security guard, sir,

this is a matter of national security,

as one of our national treasures,

and her heavily insured posterior,

require nourishment that only I can provide.

I'd say it's a matter of life or death,

but considering that several members of Ms. Lopez's staff

have lost their heads over a similar, previous incident,

I have to assume that by now

it's a matter of life AND death.

I'm just here to prevent

any more horror from happening.

No?

Would you let me in if I gave you a dried apricot?

Here, try one.  Tasty, huh?  Have it with chocolate... 

Oh.  Thanks so much, Mr. Security Guard, sir.

(SCORE!)

 

Peace and happiness, and don't believe a word that Dubya says...

EN "Peel-en" K 

Posted by iankusc at 09:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Do me a favor- got to www.google.com and search for "Snack".  Then look and see which link comes up in the upper left hand corner of the page.  For those that don't fret about Google tags, the link in the upper left corner of most Google pages represents the COMPANY that has PAID the most MONEY to be associated with whatever words for which you just searched.  Paying most for "Snacks"?...

... McDonalds ...

They seem to be marketing some new "snack wrap".  If you really want to find out what's in it, I encourage you to go to McDonalds, buy one, eat it, find a place to sit, and then re-think all the decisions that you've ever made in your life.  I feel compelled to ask the reasonable question of, what separates a "snack" wrap from any other kind of wrap?  Is it smaller?  Is it more, or perhaps less nutritious?  Do they not serve it during the lunchtime rush?  What makes a snack?

Well, for good-old McDonalds, what makes a snack is the marketing department.  If they believe that a new product will sell best between meals, then they give it a name like "snack" and add it to their dollar menu.  I suppose then the better question is, what do YOU, or I, or, you know, the REST of society consider a snack to be?

McDonalds has enough cultural and culinary clout to certainly redefine what makes for a snack.  I must confess to being susceptible to their marketing machine- I have, in fact, recently eaten one of their "cheeseburgers" (quotations required) for a midnight "snack", and I can say that I enjoyed it insofar as a person can enjoy a quick bite followed some hours later by a stomach ache and projectile flatulence.  But, sigh, I did pay for it, and I ate it.

Google may not be a major location for finding snacks, but it may well be THE place right new for driving new commerce in general.  One way or another, the OLD ways are threatened- think of the tumult in the recording industry since Napster, or the film industry since DVDs, or the auto industry since Honda, or the grocery/retail industry since Super-WalMarts.  The old playing fields are being demolished to make way for new fields, and new conversations are taking place about the games.

Do we want McDonalds to be a referee?  That's what their little add at the top of the Google page means- they are a major voice in a strange conversation, thanks not to the quality or value of their product, but thanks instead to the might of their bank accounts.  This IS America, and nothing that they're doing is illegal, or even necessarily immoral... it just sucks.

So what does make a snack?  Fruit and nuts?  Well, not for everyone.  But I doubt what McDonalds considers a snack would suffice as a definition for anyone still maintaining a few tough shreds of dignity.  Let's not let them dominate the conversation.

Poem For the Day:

I McMowed my Wal-Lawn this StarbucksMorn,

The Petsmart-Swallows darted amongst the Home Depot Oaks,

And my Brought-to-you-by-CSI terrier brought me in my CNN

As the Haliburton-Officers McTicketed McTeens for MTV-loitering.

It seems these Yahoo.com-days that EVERYTHING (tm) is owned

By something- not someone, but someTHING,

And a THING, at that, which I will never meet.

I wonder who bought the trademark to ME-

Surely someone has found a way to comodify me,

Just as my Estee' Lauder wife was recently bought out

from her former capitolizers, NASCAR.

I hope I'm owned by Toys'R'Us, or at least Southwest Airlines.

WHAT!?!  I seem to have lost two fingers

And sprouted a  pointy tail.

I guess from now on you can call me Disney-E...

 

EN 

Posted by iankusc at 10:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I need a copy-editor.  I realize that's a practically taboo thing to say in the bloggosphere- bloggers by definition are writers who share their fresh, raw, misspelled thoughts with the world, and no grammar-observing fuddy-duddy will ever rain on that parade.  I find that whenever I do send my entries to my editor/president, she has all these, you know, "suggestions".  Who wants that?!

Well, I sure could have used a little extra copy-editing yesterday.  I've been working for a while on getting some Peeled Snacks T-shirts out to the world.  We made up these T-shirts that said, "Peel Me" for a conference a few months back, and they were a HUGE hit, with lots of people asking for a T-shirt of their own.  Fine, okay, I got to work and we're about ready to let the world have them...

Yesterday I emailed a teaser email about the T-shirts to friends and customers on our mailing list, and the subject line was supposed to read "Peeled Snacks T-shirt Contest Winner!"...  Only I left out an "r", and I didn't leave out the "r" in "winner".  I'll let you take a moment and figure out what that does to the subject line...

Yes, I emailed an obscenity to thousands of our closest friends, business associates, and customers.  Let me get right out there and say that this was NOT intentional, and I am terribly sorry about the typo.  Anyone who's been offended by this has every right to be, and there's no excuse beyond my incompetence.

But most people have taken this with a good spirit, and most of those that haven't didn't even notice the typo.  Isn't it amazing how the human brain can fill in a linguistic gap like that?  I did get some CHOICE responses from readers.  Some were so funny that I just HAVE to share them.  Please keep in mind that these come from the wonderful, twisted minds of our customers... (warning- implied vulgarity ahead...)

"You must be shirting me."

"Looks like the shirt's hit the fan."

"These sh!ts stink."

"You think your shirts don't stink?"

"It's okay- shirt happens."

"Holy furcking Shirt!"

"You've really stepped in shirt this time."

"Can I get that in dog-shirt?"

"Did you mean to-sort instead of T-sh!t?"

"Your writing's for shirt."

...and my favorite, "I like the T-sh!t contest better." 

 I'd just like to say that it's an honor to sell snacks to, and occasionally offend, such a wonderfully, sinisterly creative group of people.

I think those slogans are poetry enough for today, don't you...? 

 

EN 

Posted by iankusc at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I eat a very healthy breakfast- high fiber cereals, organic skim milk, and coffee that's single-handedly saving the Alaskan rainforests.  I find, though, that all that "health" just can't go down my gullet lest I'm reading, reading something, reading ANYTHING.  Usually I take in the New York Times along with my obscene dose of non-soluble fiber, but today, for a lark, I picked up AM New York.

AM New York, for those not in the know, is one of those advertisement based weekday rags that basically puts together some AP articles, some pictures of Lindsey Lohan, and some Sudoku, and tries to pass itself off as "news".  The genius behind them is that they GIVE themselves away, thus giving morning subway commuters no excuse NOT to pick one up.  Li-Lo and Sudoku win the day.

This morning's AM NY had an interesting little 3 paragraph AP teaser entitled "Obesity worse than hunger".  The snippet points out that there are more obese people in the world than starving people (thanks TEXAS!), and it blames the problem on "a global dietary shift away from cereals and grains to animal products and vegetable oils."

I've naturally been tracking this problem for a while, what with my interest in bad eating habits and all.  Peeled Snacks has naturally positioned itself as an anti-obesity campaigner, and articles like this, however modestly positioned they may be, just float my boat.  Have you ever checked out:

www.blogher.org ?

Granted, I'm probably not supposed to be snooping around there, what with my XY thing going on, but there are a great number of passionate writers in the Food and Drink topic section (I LOVE Denise) who are taking on such issues with wit and candor.  A recent post basically labeled obesity as a form of malnourishment, given that all that excess weight that's inflating our kids has no real value, or at least not until the Martians come down and harvest those plump little spuds for their version of Thanksgiving.

In my family there's an old saying- "It's not what you do, it's what you over-do".  Obesity in this country, to my mind, stems from an over-doing of worthless carbohydrates and saturated fats.  Plenty of outlets would like to blame individual eating habits, but I see it as a form of economic warfare- cheap, lousy food for America's poor insures that they stay poor.  Cheap labor is good for business.  Our country has always relied upon its poorest and most disenfranchised to make money for the already-moneyed, and corn syrup is a cheap way to do that.

Don't confuse this for a conspiracy, though- it's just dollars and cents.  BAD cents, but bad cents that makes cents. 

Poem for the Day:

It's about time, Zergplek.

Yes, Metzelfark, it's almost harvest season.

Olympus Mons' Southern Face is turning

from amber rust to crimson fire,

and the Valles Marinaris runs full with squabe.

Zergplek, get your plucking gloves on-

It's time to reap the fattened terran crop.

Yes, all the fat little morsels

on yon planet so blue

will taste so deliciously like Cheetohs...

...and sweet, sorn-syrup filled Pepsi...

..oh yes, and pepsi, 

at this October's harvest barn dance.

My moorsaphate has knitted me a snazzy bib,

lest I spill saturated transfats

all over my brand new vyxerpus vest.

Fire up the interplanetary drive,

and let's go harvest some fatsos! 

Posted by iankusc at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm swimming right now in the warm, fuzzy glow of a wedding this weekend- my dear sister-in-law (sister to Peeled Snacks' president & CEO) and my dear friend got married, making for a DREAM of an in-law situation, and scoring me some SERIOUS points with my sis-in-law, since I introduced them.  I could wax poetic about the beauty of the wedding, the loveliness of the bride, the delight of the dancing, the bounty of the beverages, but instead I'm going to talk about the goodie bags...

What?  Everybody knows what a beautiful bride looks like- you don't need to READ about it, do you?  She was a knockout, all right?  Nothing more need be said.

What needs discussion is that in her goodie bags she included Peeled Snacks.  Every guest got to try our treats, and though most had already (this was a wedding for the family of the company owner), some hadn't in a little while, and some few hadn't ever.

Now Peeled Snacks I still consider to be a bit of a discovery food.  That is to say, right now dried fruit and nuts aren't a regular part of the American diet, and many snackers resist opening their hearts and mouths to, you know, food with wrinkles.  But when they open the bag and taste it, they "discover" it.  At this weekend's wedding, many people "discovered" or "re-discovered" Peeled Snacks, and I got to witness it.  Nothing gives me more professional satisfaction than seeing people pop open those bags, bite into an apple slice and go wide-eyed with delight.

This wasn't the first wedding that Peeleded Snacks have been in, only the first such wedding that I attended.  We're also poised to be in a slew of weddings this Fall, all of which makes perfect sense to me- I delight in imagining all those well-dressed wedding guests stumbling back to their hotel rooms faced with the munchies, only to "discover" just how good Peeled Snacks make you feel when you've drunken too much champagne and/or danced to one Isley Brothers song too many.

     Poem for Meital, my sweet sister

I wonder if my eyes' corners hide

two cherry red tear ducts each-

one for the bitter tears, sad and salty;

the other for the tears bucked

by the sweet of days

such as you make, by the wonder

and sweep of bliss and the sublime.

I swear, the tears of the bitter ducts,

which may or may not lurk in my head,

taste a different taste, A sea taste,

lashing endlessly, swallowing, unforgiving;

the other taste of fresh dew.

Can someone know the difference

looking at a glistening face,

which kind of water there flows?

Posted by iankusc at 02:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

So the Peeled Snacks team (and our delightful coterie) made a substantial splash at this week's New York Fancy Food Show.  I've gone a bit into what that gustatory mess was all about in other blog entries, but I've yet to unveil the "why" behind the Peeled Snacks splash.

Well sure, it could be that our splash was caused by just how darn good our snacks happen to be.  Oh, and it could be that everybody at the show turned their heads thanks to our snazzy packaging (in 2006, you too can use the word "snazzy").  And of course it could be Oprah's face, beaming out from posters festooned around our exhibit booth- after all, EVERYbody loves Oprah.

But none of those splashy things made as much of an impression as the silly, sexy T-shirts that we wore.  Our team wandered around the show wearing fitted  baseball T-shirts that said "Peel Me."  The back shows our hip little demonstration of the "Peel, Mix, & Enjoy" method of eating Peeled Snacks, and it sure looks good.

But "Peel Me"?  Heads turned everywhere we went.  It's a simple innuendo, really, and could easily be dismissed as propaganda from the powerful Idaho Potato lobby.  But when smeared across one of our intern's chests, or festooned upon our most excellently sexy president (I can say that because I married her), it becomes a dangerous guerilla marketing weapon of head turning, giggle-inducing shock and awe.

Some reactions: when walking through midtown Manhattan, one wearer passed a gentlemen who made a distinct "Peeling" gesture in her direction, accompanied by a sort of whipping sound...

While hanging out at our booth, another wearer was approached by a fellow conventioneer who inquired, "well where do you want me to start peeling?"

During a particularly busy rush, a woman approached me and asked, "Is what's underneath edible?"

Of course those are particularly gratuitous examples.  Most people just blushed, or asked what the heck the "Peel Me" was all about.  One way or another, those shirts made many a ripple, and our booth was hounded by inquirers lured out by six powerful, naughty letters.

 

Poem for the day:

 

I just need to say

I left my peeler at home.

May I use my teeth?

 

Do what the shirt says

And you'll wind up arrested.

Where's the fun in that?!?! 

 

-en 

Posted by iankusc at 09:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The search at the Fancy Food Show for something truly, scaldingly, blisteringly spicy continued yesterday, much to no avail.  I dedicated some ample time to trying Buffalo and Jerk sauces, in hopes that somewhere amongst their ranks would be the sauce that could vaporize my pancreas.  Not to be- only sweet sauces, or tangy sauces, or sauces labelled "XXX" yet less spicy than 70s porn.

There were two standout exceptions, though.  And let me just porpose that I'm no food critic, I'm no paid journalist, and I'm certainly no gourmand.  I'm just a guy looking to batter around every cell in his body courtesy of a little capsaicin.

#1, Rene's Nuckin' Futs hot sauce, the dabble of which I tasted having dripped through my torso like the oozing hydro-chloric acid blood of the aliens from the Alien movies.  Simply put, Nuckin' Futs was distilled evil with a red tint.  Pure spice, vicious and unforgiving, really without any flavor to speak of.  I tip my hat to any man (or woman) that willingly and intentionally creates a liquid that could have ended World War II 10 months earlier.

#2, Bart's Delicatessen's Peruvian Hot Chilli Paste, a tangy, flavorful neutron bomb to the mouth, not quite as completely poisonous (and I mean that in a good way) as Nuckin' Futs, but something that must have killed all the free-radicals, residual mercury, trans-fats and long-ago swallowed pieces of bubble gum hiding in my body.  Bart's sauce, to my tongue, was actually delicious, but blended with a full-bodied ass-kicker of spice.  Really something special, that.  Oddly enough, Bart's is a British company.  Naturally, I'm not inclined to associate spicy food with the Brits (rather I'll lend them the adjective "bland").  But proof's in the pudding, that That sauce was simply THE sh!t.

An ode:

Upon my burning palate place what you will,

The cauldrons of Acheron may boil and singe

All the sooty, smeared Underworld,

Yet I'll not break any more a sweat

Than currently pours forth from my tortured brow.

For I have just sampled the spice of Hell's window box.

Vesuvious and Aetna may tag team against my tongue

And burb forth lava like the world's end,

But my tongue won't lash or dash a bit- it's already done.

Open my maw and feed me North Korean warheads,

But don't expect me to shed one tear more,

For this awful, evil heat, courtesy of <insert your hotsauce here>

Has purged my passioned tear wells of all irrigation.

Count me as dry, sated, and completely insane. 

 

Posted by iankusc at 08:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Are you a New York Times reader?  If so, if not, check out Sunday's NYT Business section page on for a lovely little big of smoke screening about high fructose corn syrup.  In case you need a link, try...

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/02/business/yourmoney/02syrup.html?_r=1&n=Top%2fReference%2fTimes%20Topics%2fPeople%2fW%2fWarner%2c%20Melanie&oref=slogin

The article, courtesy of NYT Business section staff writer Melanie Warner, proposes that the recent demonization of high fructose corn syrup is based on bunk science, and that it's really no more harmful than good old refined sugar.  Ms. Warner takes care to cite many a scientist and food expert about the health effects of HFCS, constantly correlating them to the rise in obesity, but insisting that the chemical makeup of HFCS just can't be the cause for such a, ahem, ballooning.

Hats off, Ms. Warner, for utterly, completely, pathetically missing the point.  I'll get right out and admit to having enjoyed MANY of Ms. Warner's articles lately (her Wal-Mart organic article is a stitch).  When I saw that she was taking on HFCS, I thought that there might be much to learn from her, or entertainment value at the least.  What I read was a 2,933 word explanation about how corn syrup is our sweet, processed friend, and we shouldn't give it such a hard time for being so sweet.

Forget the sweet.  Real critics of HFCS don't waste their time with such nonsense.  Sweet is sweet, however you get it, and sometimes it's too sweet, sometimes not sweet enough, and sometimes, oh yeah, it's just the sweetest sweet ever.

 The beef with corn syrup isn't the sweet, it's the CHEAP.  The United States government in a bid to prop up our agricultural sector heavily subsidizes corn and its byproducts.  Between 1995 and 2004, corn subsidies in the U.S. totaled $41.9 billion.  That's hardly chump-change.  This year congress passed a $190 billion farm subsidy package, over a fifth of which is targeted at corn subsidies (and yet somehow the democrats are considered fiscally irresponsible?).  That money is all aimed at supporting what was until the civil war 70% of our economy, and now represents less than 1%- agriculture.

Our proud heritage of agrarianism, however, has its costs when super-processed products like HFCS are the most supported output- products with HFCS become CHEAP.  REAL cheap.  So cheap that there's really no reason to buy anything else.  The ever-swelling poor masses of our great country end up buying goodies loaded with HFCS because it's all that they can afford.  They eat it, they get NOTHING from it (no satisfaction, no nutrition) except calories, and they go out and buy more.

High Fructose Corn Syrup is not food poisoning- it's social and economic poisoning.  I won't even bother with the wastefulness behind processing the heck out of any given product- others' arguments are surely more sound.  Consider, though, that in the 1930s Americans spent as much as  22% of their money on food.  Today, we spend less than 6%. That money I assume has been reallocated into places like housing, automobile expenses, and body armor.  It's certainly not going into the very fabric of one's body, and it's certainly not doing much for the American farmer.

Ms. Warner wasted an opportunity to open up an argument by taking advantage of an opportunity to close an argument.  I expect better from the writers and editors of the New York Times.  They aren't supposed to put the lid on things; they're supposed to blow the lids off!

 Poem for the day

Black and white summer smear

inching down my chin like a snail,

half chocolate, have vanilla,

like 1859 Virginia, 

all good, guaranteed by the sweaty man

smiling in the ice cream truck,

oh smear, of what are you made?

From the churned white nectar

of satisfied bovines humming and cooing

amongst the tall grasses of summer?

Or are you made from the mashed, dashed,

split, ruined, pulped, spun, dunked, thrashed,

spoiled, soiled, flushed, smushed remnants

of ears of corn long gone? 

Posted by iankusc at 10:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Allow me to go officially on record as adoring those wonderful people at Time Out NY.  As if they weren't already tapped deeply enough into Gotham to lead any lost Nebraskan to just the right underground-alternative-bossanova dance party, they just went ahead and gave New York's very own Peeled Snacks a review for the ages.  James Oliver Cury's Critics' Pick entitled "Nutty Logic" proved to me that Peeled Snacks' concept, its reason for being, is entirely "gettable"- Mr. Cury got us so perfectly, I wish I could shake his hand and kiss his grandma on the cheek.  Instead, I just think I'll send him some free snacks.  Write a good review of us in your super-distributed magazine and I'll send you some treats too!

That's just the latest dose of good news that we've endured here at Peeled Snacks' World Headquarters.  I imagine that there's more to come (gosh, I hope so), but with every dollop of press that we get, I always find myself wondering just why nobody thought of this sort of treat before, and if they did, why they aren't doing it.  Don't confuse this for second guessing Peeled Snacks- every time I eat them (which is frightfully rarely thanks to the maddening frugality of our wonderful president Ms. Waibsnaider) I'm SHOCKED by how tasty they are.  This is more of an epistemological quandary.  Like, did the Cheetoh exist before somebody invented it, or did it take shape only on the first assembly line to crank those dusty little nuggets out?

In this maddeningly marketing-driven world then, does an invention even matter?  Who cares if a product is invented if it isn't marketed?  And who cares about the marketing unless it actually causes the product to move like hotcakes?  When is a thing a thing- when the Big Bang (or G@d, if you go for that sort of thing) mixes up the first atomic ingredients, when some mad scientist (i.e. Ms. Waibsnaider) concocts the idea, or when Mr. James Oliver Cury touts the thing enough to make it profitable?

 

Poem for the day:

What's the nutritional content of sand

mixed with an apricot sadly fallen

from my slippery, salty, wave battered hand

onto the glistening eastern beach?

Do the gritty shavings of long lost seashells

add to the non-soluble fiber quantity

thus making my fallen apricot even more

of a hall monitor in the high school of my abdomen,

or does it go straight to the hips,

like the poly-unsaturated fat

caked into the pecan-chocolate fudge I ate

at the candy store late last night? 

 

Hope your Mondays are somehow better than your Sundays...

-Peeled Skinny 

Posted by iankusc at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

So "Spark" has hit the shelves, and many people, many MANY people, are buzzing about it.  Being slightly too cheap to buy a copy (at least thus far-- don't worry Mr. Winsor, I can't hold out forever), I've groused over the online portions, and have savored the blog pieces.  Can I recommend a book that I haven't yet read?  Well, I'll recommend it to myself, and if you overhear the conversation, you do what you feel's right.

Will "Spark" make as many waves as jolly Malcolm Gladwell's "Tipping Point"?  Tough to say, but it hardly matters.  Books of this nature, books with this heavy marketing theme, now litter Barnes & Noble's tables (not the shelves, the TABLES), and receive heavy mentions by TV talking heads, newspaper columnists, and probably (though we're as of yet unacquainted) Ma and Pa America.  Ideas like "Activation" and "Opportunity Costs" now get played around with in the kitchens of Burger Kings, and half of America’s eyes are scoping for niche markets.

I'm under the impression that Marketing used to be the work of the Wizard of Oz.  That is, it used to be concocted behind the proverbial green curtain, and the razzle-dazzle that issued forth from behind said curtain wasn't scrutinized for how much eye of newt it contained.  Today, though, at least on an intellectual basis, marketing ploys are open to being dissected by whoever wants to take a crack at it:  there goes 20% of America paying attention to that man behind the curtain.

Marketing seems to have gone civilian, much like border patrolling recently went courtesy of our patriotic, paranoid minutemen brethren.  Perhaps this has happened before, when thanks to cynicism, irony, or just intellectual mustering, the public pierced Madison Avenue's veil, forcing those yahoos (of whom I suppose I can count myself a member) to start over from scratch.  Thank heavens that Peeled Snacks isn't marketing driven.  I mean, it'd be nice if marketing would take the wheel for a while, but for the time being it’s just the quality of the fruit and the nuts in the driver's seat.  Of course, those that have read Spark will see right through that last sentence....

 

Poem for the day:

At long last I have finished thee,

Ended your life on my shelf, swallowed you

My whale, your Jonah.

Staring at me you have dared me

threatened me with nourishing eyes,

and finally I fell for you, hard.

Last me throughout my belly, no further.

Fulfill my coffers with fruit and nuts.

Afterwards, I care not what comes of you.

I have finished thee, snack. 

Posted by iankusc at 09:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

How many jokes or puns can you make out of the word "Peeled"?  That's a question that I ask myself frighteningly often.  Mass a-peel, court a-peel the doctor gave me a "peel" to make me feel better...  I'm convinced that there are hundreds of groan inducing puns out there waiting to be exploited for the benefit of a quick Peeled Snacks joke, but somehow most of those jokes elude me CONSTANTLY.  Very frustrating, that.  If you can think of a good Peeled Snacks joke or pun, email me at ian@peeledsnacks.com and if it busts my gut, I'll send you something good to eat.

Here's a funny thing about crafting a new product- you think you know everything going into it and you're just executing a perfectly designed plan, but then all this STUFF starts happening that you never expected.  Just last week (here's a great example), Peeled Snacks found their way into the lovely, recently slimmed fingers of none other than Mariah Carey.  Life & Style Magazine (a periodical hitherto fore unknown to me) displays on its cover this week a photo of a 40-pounds-lighter-then-she-was Ms. Carey, and gives Peeled Snacks partial credit for the weight loss.

Recently Ms. Carey (can I call you Mariah? No? Ms. Carey then...) and I came within six degrees of separation when the she recently rented a posh Caribbean bungalow from a client of my prosthedontist father-in-law. She received high marks for good tenanthood from her hosts, and thus I forgave her for all those extra notes that she sang in "Always be my Baby." Now suddenly there's a second tangential run-in with Ms. Carey (or, rather, Ms. Carey's celebrity), and I find myself singing her praises, digging up her old CDs, and pondering naming my first daughter "Mariah."

What is it about celebrity that makes things seem more important?  Thank heavens for that importance, frankly, but how weird is it that when my mother, who, you know, gave birth to me and all, tells me to eat spinach I ignore her, but when some photo-heavy rag infers that Liv Tyler eats Popeye food, I’m suddenly ready to buy organic Mongolian spinach at 8 times the price?

A brief note about Ms. Carey’s weight loss- she does look great (as opposed to, say, that day back in 1995.  You know, that day?  That day she looked BAD?  Yeah, that was scary), but frankly, she looked lovely before the weight loss.  If Peeled Snacks helps her stay trim and healthy, well GRAND!  But honey, you couldn’t TRY to look bad!  Well, except for that one day in 1995…

Yours,

 EN "Peel-en" K

Posted by iankusc at 04:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

 Last Friday I whisked off and caught a marketing seminar for corporate bigwigs at venerable Columbia University.  The seminar's nearly useless title was "The New PR", and as it took place at the VERY end of a long, lovely Friday, half of the attendees were a tad tipsy from lunchtime anti-teetotaling.  This made for a frank, whimsical, often rambling discussion by a bunch of PR veterans about what the heck they were going to do about this "internet" stuff.
In all fairness, many attendees were tech-savvy and eager to gobble up any insights into that web thing that they could.  An uncomfortable majority, however, piped up regularly with ideas about how marketers and PR gurus could wrest control of our current cultural marketing discourse from bloggers, MySpace, and the like.  As ideas about viral marketing and grass-roots publishing were bandied about, hand after hand shot up hoping to interject with an idea about how to thwart this wired tide of philistine publicists and their crude, sometimes troublesome, entirely untamed opinions.

One anachronist in particular sticks out in my memory- in the face of a discussion about blogging corporate executives, this one fellow offered that neither the public nor executives could be entrusted with the idea of shaping a brand.  To him, the virtues of anything that you'd find in your local market weren't open for debate; Madison Avenue, which should be well compensated for its autocracy, should determine them.

Well, isn't that just the cutest thing?  It's like he was standing in the middle of 5th avenue during the Puerto Rican Day parade directing pedestrian traffic!  There's no way that ANYbody could ever fight a tide so strong as the Puerto Rican Day parade, and there's no way anybody's going to stop the web.

There are questions in my mind about whether or not marketing trends are progressive (like, they just constantly keep moving and changing), or they're cyclical (as in, one day snake-oil salesmen will be all the rage all over again), or what.  But to my mind, right now with blogs being just that easy to publish and MySpace accounts pushing more mail than the post office, there's simply no competing with grass roots marketers.  At lest on a price per hit basis.  That said, Coca-Cola still wins every battle, right or wrong.

Posted by iankusc at 01:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)