This past week took the Peeled Snacks team to San Francisco again on business- talks with brokers, showdowns with distributors, a love-in with our wonderful co-packer, and (as always) some scouting for new places that have earned the right, nay, the PRIVELAGE, to sell Peeled Snacks.  In spite of all that work, we did somehow manage to squeeze some fun when we snuck off to....

SIX FLAGS  WILD KINGDOM!!!!!

For the sake of disclosure, nearly ever Summer during my adolescence, I took a couple of trips to my local amusement park.  Sure, I was lured in by whatever was the latest thrill.  The Berserker?  did it.  Thefirst roller coaster to go under water? Road it many times.  The Wayne's World Hurler?  No, I have NO shame....

So I dig the screams and the cheesiness and the heat, and I even dig the shows- the big-grinned dancing girls, the cartoon characters coming alive in weight-loss foam suits, and the clearly stoned magician/baloon blowers.  At parks I have known, I have mourned the loss of this license or that (I miss you "Smurf Mountain"!), and still brag about roller coasters I've ridden that were closed for safety concerns (DRACHEN FIRE!).

But one thing I've never enjoyed, for very good reason, is the food.  American cuisine is distinguished by its fast food, and a quintessential, American institution like the Roller Coaster deserves quintessential, awful, American food.  But if you take such "food" and mix it with, say, a ride that simulates the exhiliration of being inside a washing machine, the results can be ugly.

I have no one but myself to blame, but this past weekend, while nearly going delusional, courtesy of an empty tummy bashed by a wooden Roller Coaster, I went to the nearest eatery that I could find and ate the healthiest crap I could get (Fish and Chips, hah hah).  Had I spent, oh, say, 5 seconds longer scrutinizing a map, I surely would have noticed a Subway sub shop around the corner....

But no.  I ate crap, and then road on "The Tasmanian Devil", which is like one of those pirate ship rides, only spinning.  What do you think was the outcome of that mix?  Well, just rest assured that something, EVERYTHING, did come out.

I don't regret the ride at all.  It was a strange, wonderful ride, offering points of view that I'd never before experienced, and it was WORTH a little ex-paristalsis.  But that fish deserves an apology.  It dserved better than to be caught, killed, fileted, battered, frozen, shipped, thawed, deep-fried, eaten, jostled, and then barfed.  We all deserve better. 

Keep Peeling,

Peeled Skinny, courtesy of bad food 

Posted by iankusc at 08:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday a series of Wizard-of-Oz-worthy wind and rain storms moved through Manhattan, and I just happened to get stuck in one as I was looking far, ahem, a place to relieve myself.  As the first rain-soaked gusts began pelting me, I ducked into the place of business nearest to me that might offer a: shelter, and b: a urinal.  That establishment was none other than the golden arches themselves, McDonalds....

Well, I wasn't the only soggy cat to creep through those doorways just then, nor was I the only one there seeking, uh, relief.  So I waited out the worst of the storm with other drenched passersby and took in all that was a mid-town McDonalds for a good 15 minutes or so.  And you know what?  I'm alive to tell the tale!

In fact, some things about the experience were distinctly surprising.  For instance, this Mickey D's has in it a baby grand (it's at 56th and 8th avenue for the unbelievers amongst you), and a guy was playing chopin on it rather nimbly.  Likewise, contrary to my expectations, not everyone in the joint was overflowing with billowing corpulence.  Some customers, but not all.

The place was hardly clean, but it was busy enough to warrant some forgiveness in the anal arena. Midtown that far north of Times Square isn't particularly kid-filled, and this store had no "Playland", or anything of the sort.  It did however boast its more than fair share of teenagers, some swapping fries, some canoodling in the corners, some narfling down lard they'll spend their 20s shedding.

I didn't inspect the menu beyond a passing glance at the dollar menu.  In spite of any inferred value in that menu, all it offered was cookies, pie, and 4 McNuggets!  Far be it for me to actually EAT a McNugget, but if I did, I sincerely doubt that 4 of them would satiate me.  But now we're in a twisted cycle here:  "The food in this restaurant is TERRIBLE, and the portions are SO SMALL!!!"

In all honesty, I went in expecting dystopia and just found a subdued dispenser of convenience.  There's really no argument to make against McDonalds- Ray Kroc found a loophole back in the day and exploited it to high heaven (or low hell, if you actually eat there).  It's a financial system that in the short term makes for INSANE profits.  In the long term, who knows?  Ever seen "Idiocracy"?

I didn't eat the food, so I can't comment on that aspect of the business.  I assume it's dreck, but I have a place in my heart for their french fries, so consider me a proud hypocrit.  One thing's for sure though- nice music in the background, comfort food for cheap, and a shelter from the storm raging outside in no way makes up for....

...the most disgusting bathroom I've ever seen in the first world....

Posted by iankusc at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In a staff meeting a couple of weeks ago we all sat around toying with a problem that's been haunting us for quite some time- with great weather comes temperatures.... so how do you keep the darn chocolate from melting?  Imagine- the Cocoa bean only grows in the tropics, but "Chocolate" is completely unsuitable a creation for warm climates.  How on earth did that wonderful stuff ever get invented?!?!

A few years ago I journeyed to India where, as not too big a chocoholic, I didn't really notice the derth of Baby Ruths until I journeyed up from the plains to the hill stations.  While the low-lying lands swelter and boil, the mile-high hill stations have that sweet-spot weather: not too hot, not to cold.  And to celebrate, said hill stations sell a lot of chocolate.  A LOT!  Given that it was India the chocolate all tasted like curry and cardomon, but at least they had it.

I suppose that chocolate is a fruit that you sell where you can, and therefore it has no hold over the beach communities, no place on the boardwalk, no home in Cancun or Thailand or Cabo.  My taste buds love ice cream, but my brain buds have trouble figuring out why ice cream cones and the beach go hand in hand, yet chocolate walks alone.  Why should brain freeze be okay, yet sticky, chocolate coated fingers NOT be?

And yet, this simple conundrum poses a challenge not simply to my nearly chocolate-free brain (that stuff gives me zits), but also to the Peeled Snacks distribution engine.  Last Summer we suffered about 20 angry phone calls from Shock-olate fans complaining about melted nut bags before we finally got the genius idea of shipping in cooled containers.  But MAN was that expensive.  And sometimes it didn't even help.

And yet I'm quite sure that every 7-11, every Rite-Aid, every Quickie-Mart out there will this Summer certainly suffer several Snickers, will move many a musketeer (3 at a time), will roll out reams of Rolos, all thanks to the hundred or so devoted distributors (the guys with the trucks) who'll hastily cart cooled candy bars from town to town insuring no shortage in the chocolate supply.

Sigh, to have the cheap chocolate-infused musculature of Hershey, Inc., to have to firepower of M&M/Mars (who apparently have interplanetary power, what with their Martian factory and all).  If only we had a FRACTION of their trucks (and/or space trucks, I guess), we 'd fill every bodega from here to San Diego with Shock-olate, the discerning chocoholic's snack of choice.

Instead, we're taking the saddest road out of the summer-resort town: we're discountinuing Shock-late....

Now, hold on, stop THROWING things at my HEAD!!  And you, you there, put down the gun, PLEASE!  It'll only be discontinued so long as the heat lasts, probably till early September.  The moment we can move it without it melting all over the countryside, we will.  I know, I know, everybody suffers.  But really, we're NOT so big as Hershey's, we're no Nestle, we're not even a Butterfinger....

....yet. 

An ode to chocolate:

I bought a bar, a dark, milky bar,

for which I had to travel far.

From on the shores of Gujarat

where white sands blow and blow real hot,

through deserts wide and full of cobras,

(I sure was thirsty, but I found there no sodas).

Over canyons I leaped about bounded,

(once I was by hyenas surrounded!),

till the feet of tallest peaks I founded!

They I climbed and searched throughout,

through blasting monsoon and burning drought,

up cliffs, past boulders, through avalanche,

(and one night an eagle ate my pants!)

till long at last I found a town,

where chocolate finally could be found.

I paid my rupis, 80 per bar,

and then looked out towards home: so far!

Back I turned, cliffs down I climbed,

(the trip back was easier- I daresay well timed)

((though once by a ghost I somehow got slimed)),

and over the canyon and back through the Thar,

MAN, by the end had I travelled far!

At last I have come to share with you THE treat.

You'll find it delicious,  you'll find it SO sweet!

You'll love me, adore me, for bringing this to you,

For bringing you chocolate, for bringing you, DOH!!....

...sigh... 

For bringing you this melted puddle of goo...

Enjoy your chocolate while you got it,

EN (Peeled Skinny) 

Posted by iankusc at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I want to thank everybody that came to our Plu-What? Thickens Party and made it such a success.  For those that missed it, you passed up on yummy drinks (the "Aprium" was a delectably sweet hit), tasty nibbles (the Fondue was Fon-Duper), and one of the most inspiring outpourings of creativity and imagination that I've seen since the White House tried to sell the Iraq Invasion.

If you're not "in the know", along with last night's carousing and goofiness, we played a fun little game called "Peel-a-thon", where party-goers were asked to invent their own Peeled Snack Mix using any ingredients that they wanted, and give the snacks a name.  Prizes are awarded for the Most Creative, for the "Most Likely Mix to be the NEXT Peeled Snack", and for the "Naughtiest."

Just a quick survey, which of those three prizes  do you think had the most entries, Hmm?  You think most people would want to be creative?  Do you think that all of our party goers would be really eager to help us with the next great Peeled Snack?  Well, if you were, perhaps, expecting our friends, clients, partners and party-crashers to mostly try to come up with dirty, dirty, naughty, filthy mixes, YOU'RE RIGHT!

Want proof?  How about BLUEBALLS, courtesy of Angie, with Blueberries, Boysenberries, Huckleberries, and Pecans.

How about "Great Sexpectations", a fallocentric mix which Catherine thinks should include banana, cucumber,  coconuts, and kumquats (what, no carrots?)

Or (and this one had TWO people dream it up), what would you call a mix of Durian, Starfruit, Coconut, Rambutan, and Longan?  How about "Me Love You Longan Time...." 

There certainly were some very family friendly mixes with clever names, like "Sour Power", "Pink Flamingo", and the VERY clever (though already taken by a booze brand) Southern Comfort (with its Pecans, Pumpkins, Persimmons, Dates, and Chocolate- Thanks May).  Some had clear but odd inspirations, like Rachel's Car-Talk inspired "Herasmus B. Dragon" (centered, naturally, around Dragon-Fruit).

But when it comes down to it, we have to tip our hats to the following SUPER-Yummy, mega-inspired varieties.... 

Most Creative: Kirsten Osur

Chowabunga! (hot peppers, chocolate, avocado, persimmon)

Most likely to be the next Peeled Snack: Bones Rodriguez

Spring Break (pineapple, bananas, coconut, walnuts, cashews)

Naughtiest: Christian Miller

Honey-Dew Me (Honeydew melon, lychee, mango, passion fruit, currant)

I want to point out some wonderful honorable mentions:

Most versatile Brand name: Sam's "Oh What a Peeling"

Most attractive to hypochondriacs: Chris's "Anti-Everything"

Most likely to get us into trouble with the law: Todd's "Chase the Dragon"

Oddest fixation: Matt's insistence that every one of his mixes (and he submitted several) include Peanut Butter

Most Inspired (and runner-up for Most Creative): Rachel's "Rock-a-Mole", with Tomato, Avacado, Jalapeno, Red Onion, and Pistachios

Most likely to get us sued for copyright infringement: Phyllis's "Fruit Loops"

Simplest: Jared's "Jerky Date", which consists of Jerky, and Dates

Lewdest: Jessie's "One Night Stand", with its Dates, Macadmia Nuts, Passion Fruit, and Kumkwats (what, no raw oysters?)

And finally, Oddest Name: Tara's "Tropical Totem" with its banana, Passion fruit (okay, both tropical), Almonds (not tropical) and Marshmallows (uh, not.... totems....?)

Thanks for everyone who played.  Prizes will be sent to the winners, but when you think about it, aren't we all winners?

Thanks to Rick and Soho Experiential for organizing it, all the great people at Honey for helping out, to Meryl for being a total bad-ass, and all of you for being so good to us! 

Keep Peeling, 

Peeled Skinny 

(P.S. Shock-olate is going to Antarctica this summer to research global warming and to keep its cool.  If you want some, you'd better buy it by May 15th.  It's scheduled to return from the land of many penguins in September.  So there) 

Posted by iankusc at 12:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)