My dear friend (alluded to in my recent GUNK! blog) and I started grappling the other day with my perspectives on poverty.  You see, I'm a bit of a conspiracy nut, in that I truly believe that America's economic engine benefits from cheap labor, and so we have numerous systems designed to keep the poor, poor.  His argument lies in the spirit of self-determinism versus "misery loves company", and while he expressed it well, I'll leave it to him to tell you all about HIS conspiracy theories.  [Ed. Note: My friend has no real conspiracy theories]

But let's get back to mine- America LOVES its poor, and makes sure that they're never in short supply.  There are all sorts of ways that we guarantee the supply (shoddy inner-city education, anyone?  How about limited access to capitol for minorities?  Would you prefer institutionalized racism?), but one of the perhaps accidental yet undeniable guarantees comes from FOOD.

Michael Pollan published another indictment of the food industry in this past week's New York Times, which he started with this strange puzzle: if you're a fat American, you're probably a poor American.  Hold it, WHAT?  The term "Fat Cat" assumes the opposite: the richer you are, the fatter (and, apparently, more feline) you become.  Well, that phrase no longer works, it seems.

And neither does our country's "Farm Bill."  Pollan, in his article, takes to task the current $25 billion "Farm Bill" (which has impact far beyond farms) for encouraging the growth and consumption of corn, wheat, and soy, and basically nothing else.  This pathetically structured, forgotten bit of legislation encourages industrial agriculture, and nothing's easier on the machinery than corn.  Hence, the cheapest thing out there is cookies full of useless high-fructose corn syrup calories.

I highly recommend that you read the Pollan article- there are MANY points in there worth toying with and mulling over.  But my take-away from it is that our government has sanctioned (nay, INSTITUTIONALIZED) the fattening of the poor by insuring that the worst food for you is the only food that most Americans can afford.  In short, we're paying taxes (about $100 per person per year) to keep poor America fat.

Right now it takes about 2 farmers to work every 1000 acres of American farmland, courtesy of industrialized farming.  The impact, on our poor, on foreign markets, on the environment, is tremendous and frightening.  But if we re-organized our agricultural systems so that more people would work less land, well we sure would have a lot more jobs for people, no?  For POOR people....

No, as Pollan points out, there's no easy solution to this problem, but the current situation helps NOBODY....

Except (back to my conspiracy theory) the corporation owning Americans who benefit from a cheap labor market.  This should make us all sick.  Frankly, all that High Fructose Corn Syrup DOES make me sick....

I wrote a poem about this earlier, and here is its encore presentation. That's right, returning to our pages from Mars are your favorite green skinned, people eating Martians, Zergplek and Metzelfark.  Thanks for making the trip back to our pages, guys.  Now please stop chewing on the intern's arm....

It's about time, Zergplek.

Yes, Metzelfark, it's almost harvest season.

Olympus Mons' Southern Face is turning

from amber rust to crimson fire,

and the Valles Marinaris runs full with squabe.

Zergplek, get your plucking gloves on-

It's time to reap the fattened terran crop.

Yes, all the fat little morsels

on yon planet so blue

will taste so deliciously like Cheetohs...

...and sweet, corn-syrup filled Pepsi...

..oh yes, and pepsi, 

at this October's harvest barn dance.

My moorsaphate has knitted me a snazzy bib,

lest I spill saturated transfats

all over my brand new vyxerpus vest.

Fire up the interplanetary drive,

and let's go harvest some fatsos!

Posted by iankusc at 03:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

First things first- "Insider" took me to task for comparing a Pyramid Scheme to Network Marketing, and he/she (I don't know who "Insider" is) was right to do so.  Amway ain't Albania, indeed.  Still, a little bit of surfing around Network Marketing sights and you find a debate within the community about how to not be constantly recruiting sales reps.  If Network Marketing really is so much better than Pyramid marketing, then why are so many Pyramid veterans doing Network Marketing?  Watch your backs, kids....

But on to better things, like THE PLU-WHAT? PARTY!!!  To celebrate the success of our latest flavor, we're throwing a Party next week at New York's newest Meat Packing District lounge space, Honey Bar at 243 W 14th St. between 7th and 8th.  It'll be a blast- good company, grand drinks, silly games, hip tunes, and oodles of bodies happily honed courtesy of a good lifestyle, regular exercise, and a healthy diet (of which Peeled Snacks is certainly a part).

The Party runs from 6 till whenever, and if you RSVP to rsvp@peeledsnacks.com, the first drink's on me.

The second drink's on YOU..... 

Posted by iankusc at 03:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, I have this friend, a DEAR friend, a man for whom I hold tremendous respect.  He's an entrepreneur, and a successful professional actor, a great guy, and a truly fantastic karaoke-er.  He had me and some other friends over to his swank Central Park West pad last weekend for some relaxation and PG-13 fun, during which he introduced me to....

"AGEL" 

From the website; 

"Athletes use gels to pound carbs right before competition or in the middle of a race. What if anyoneother could pound nutritional supplements in the same way—when it's most convenient for them? Could a highly accessible delivery system like the one athletes use be versatile enough to work with consumable products?

The answer launched a powerful new delivery mechanism called Suspension Gel Technology."

I know the writing ain't pretty, but they make up for it with TECHNOLOGY!  Suspension Gel Technology, huh? Well, let's take a look at what's "suspended" inside one of their little capsules, the one called "UMI"....

In a  21 gram serving (.75 oz), you get Fucoidan, a seeweed extract proven by the japanese to actually kill lymphoma cells.  You also get some Apple Cider Vinegar.  Under "Other Ingredients," you'll find Water, Fructose (read: sugar), Malic Acid (an artificial flavor), Citric Acid (which, contrary to popular belief, ISN'T vitamin C but IS a natural preservative), Xanthan Gum  and Guar Gum (thickening agents), "Natural Flavoring" (whatever that is), and Sodium Benzoate, a preservative that we use for our figs.

Now let's look at the amounts:  The "Good" stuff, being the Fucoidan and Apple Cider Vinegar, amounts to 235 MILLIgrams, making it just over 1% of the contents.  The rest of it is sugar, water, and stuff that makes you think that you're eating more than sugar and water. 

The packaging promises that "UMI" is a powerful punch of Fucoidan, and offers a "wealth of benefits," though specifics are tough to come by.  Of the line of 6 Suspension Gels, one boasts a littany of added vitamins, but all of them are basically made of sugar, water, thickening stuff, and.... something else- vitamins, seaweed, ginseng, whatever.  The promises are bold, the packaging schnazzy, the product....

Well, come to think of it, I haven't tried the product.  If I'm going to be able to properly address it, I'd better put my belly to the test, so here goes, I am now ripping open said "UMI" and getting .008 ounces of Fucoidan....

Wow.  I feel like somebody did something in my mouth that I really didn't want them to do.  It's gunk, allright, and the packaging is such that you really do splurt it into your eat hole.  Overall, that was a frighteningly unpleasant experience.  However, if I happen to have lymphoma (do you hear me Fred Thompson?), then I'm at least .008 ounces closer to being protected from it.

It tastes, for the record, as if someone's trying to cover up the flavor of pencil shavings with a gross, artificial Green Apple concoction.  Said shavings are somewhat masked, but there's just enough of a hint to make me nervous.  So it's got a frightening texture, an unnerving (though not awful) taste, and dubious nutritiounal value.  Why, exactly, is it here?

Well, for one, it's being marketed through a "Network Marketing" system.  That is to say, people that sell it aren't actually selling it- they're just trying to get OTHER people to sell it, from which they get residuals, much like Avon or Amway or Albania.  No offence to Amway or Avon- they're cool, I think.  And I feel bad for Albania- they got BURNED.  Networking Marketing works wonders for high margin products, and AGel's certainly that.

AGel's packaging is definitely dangerously slick, and I can see a jogger slipping one of the packs into a pocket for portage, taking it out when he/she needs to "go to 11", and then casually littering said attractive package (but, it's so small, who'll notice?).  But the real attraction is the notion that this food is as functional as it gets- it's food without that pesky, you know, "FOOD" in the way- just the nutrition, or energy, or the sexy ginseng, or the cancer-killing seaweed agent.

Can you see why I'm upset that a dear friend of mine is involved in peddling this purported "pocket rocket"?  AGel is, to put it bluntly, huckstering the "Anti-Peeled Snack"- something that eliminates "food," that gets beyond "ingredients," that's so OVER agriculture.  It's the way of the future, man, it's Soylent  Green! 

It's proof that man is greater than his/her creator, because we can, through "science," root the sin out of the apple, the slither out of the serpent.  We can do better than food, we can do better than "seaweed."  We can do better than GOD!

I just have to find a way to root the "AGel" out of my buddy.  I know that there are people out there that believe that "Funcitonal Food" is the way, and that's fine.  Good for them.  They'll make some chemists very happy and rich.  Our target market is people that like to, you know....

...."chew." 

Keep Chewing,

Ian, Peeled Skinny 

Posted by iankusc at 02:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)