a conversation overheard between two dogs, one a west-coaster (Greeley), the other an east-coaster (Shenandoah), when they met at a Florida barbeque last week....

Shenandoah:   Hey Greeley!  Hey Greeley!  I remember you!  How you doing?

Greeley:  Hey Doah!  Good, good, how's your butt smell?... 

S: Not as good as yours, kid.  Hey, you smell that?

G:  Are boy-dogs all sons of bitches?  That smells like some grade A organic grass-fed hamburger!

S:  Smells like WHAT?  Whatchoo talking about Greeley?  What's Organic?

G:  You know, like, REAL.  Like, whoever grew that cow didn't stick it with, you know, chemicals and hormones and stuff.

S:  Chemicals?  They put chemicals in cows?  COOL!

G:  No way is that cool.  It's totally gross!

S:  Come on, Greeley- Chemicals are the way of the future!  In a few years, you and I could be super-dogs, thanks to chemicals!

G:  We ARE super-dogs, Shenandoah...

S:  SHHHHHH!  Anyway, I hope one day I get some chemicals stuck in me.

G:  Well what about hormones?  How would you like to be stuffed full of gunk that makes your muscles all swell and bloat?

S:  Would it make me more attractive to other dogs?

G:  NO!  It'd make you a sick disaster of science run amok!

S:  Greeley, I'm a dog.  I LIKE to run amok.  I LIVE to run amok...

G:  Hormones would turn you into a FREAK!

S:  They seem to have turned that cow into delicious meat!

G:  I said that the meat smells ORGANIC, not pumped full of hormones.

S:  How can you tell?

G:  Well back in California, everybody's cooking with that organic, grass-fed meat.

S:  SO?

G:  You can really tell the difference.

S:  SO?

G:  So it's better for you and tastier.

S:  So you'd turn down a steak that smelled like it had hormones?  Are you telling me that you, a DOG, would spurn a big hunk of hamburger just because it came from a hormone injected cow?

G:  Well, I'm a dog, so I probably couldn't help myself....

S:  Darn tootin!

G:  But I'd prefer a grass fed cow.  It's better?

S:  How?

G:  I don't know.  It just tastes better.

S:  I eat what I can get.  That's how we New York dogs so it- we eat what we can get, and we LOVE it!

G:  Well you New York dogs gotta wake up and smell the hormones.

S:  And you California dogs gotta wake up and smell any meat that you can smell, cause it's ALL good!

G:  True.  But....

S:  But?

G:  No, butt- that dog's butt.  Let's go sniff it.

S:  NOW you're talking!