I'm beginning to wonder just what it means to be "natural".  When a baby is born into the world, is the baby "natural"?  If so, when does the baby become "UN-natural"?  When he/she eats his/her first Pringle?  After finishing its first tin of Pringles?  What if the mother ate Pringles every day while carrying the baby?  Was the baby then ever natural to begin with?  Where does the line between natural and unnatural lie?

This weekend that question struck me like a punch in the gut as I got suckered in to buying something "natural"... and suffered because of it.  Allow me to give a absolutely emphatic thumbs DOWN to Blue Sky Natural Soda's "Jamaican Ginger Ale".  I believe that this is my first online condemnation, and I suspect that once word gets out, the thugs from Blue Sky will be knocking at my door and inviting me to "swim with the fishes".  But this news I just can't keep in...

I have of late developed an appreciation for exotic soft drinks.  I like how the bubbles sooth my tummy (yes, I call it my "tummy"), and I like strong flavors.  I appreciate the less sweet varieties (though never diet), and have developed a keen interest in ginger beers, malt beers, and ginsing sodas.  I've sampled many a variety, and stumbled as often as I've soared.  This weekend, though, I found the ass-end of sodas.

In a local bodega I found a stack of "natural sodas" courtesy of Blue Sky, and decided to give it a try.  At $3.00 a six pack, it seemed reasonably priced (there's certainly worse), and I'm always up for something new.  I took it home, chilled it, cracked open a can, and...

Suffered.

So bad in so many ways, I can't even begin to describe the let down.  The taste, while not at all akin to any ginger beverage I've ever tasted, IS akin to certain motor oils that I've smelled, and the smell of certain dead pidgeons I've stepped over on the sidewalk.  It was so un-drinkable that it made me wonder if its creators a: bothered to taste is before selling it, and b: if they have taste buds at all.

But I bought it, and I bought it because of its MARKETING; words like "natural" and "Jamaican" lured me in, as did its "Save Pets" icon and attractive, mountainy design.  Frankly, I'm the target market for this supposed thirst quencher (20-45, scenester, disposable income, influencer), so they hit their target.  But MAN, what lousy ordinance!

There's a slew of fancy sodas of late- the big boys roll out their tweeks (cherry vanilla coca-pepsi, kumquat-power-slice, etc), and little guys try to muscle in (Jones, Jolt, Tab's making a comeback...).  There are occasional attempts to redefine the category (dry soda anyone?), and occasionally products that could totally change the world for the better (like Fizzy Lizzy, and their superlative Grapefruit soda!)and some of us fall for this or that (but never, NEVER, for Blak- I like my coffee coffeeish).

But not every one of those can make it, though not all that fail are lousy (Good-O's West Indian Ginger Beer?  AWESOME!!!), and not all those that succeed taste of ambrosia (why, oh why, is there such a thing as Grape Soda?).  If, however, you're trying to pass a beverage off as natural, such an adjective just ISN'T ENOUGH!  Natural isn't satisfying on it's own... or IS it?

There's the question for Peeled Snacks- should we make a "natural product" (i.e. use ingredients without sulfites) simply because there's a market, even though it might taste bad or look bad or, you know, just BE bad?  Is "natural" and end, or a justifiable means?  Usually around here, we find dub it a GOAL, but that's not the same as saying it's a product.  The destination requires the journey, and so far, Peeled Snacks' journey has, technically, been an unnatural one.

But believe me, we taste a HECK of a lot better than Blue Sky Jamaican Ginger Ale...

An ode to the Blue Sky thugs knocking on my door:

No you can't come in,

you can't, I won't let you, you'll pound on my chin.

No, I won't open the door,

I won't, I can't, because you'll pound me to the floor.

Sorry, the door stays locked.

I've bolted and latched it, and with the couch in front it's blocked

No chance, you can't have the key.

I know that you'll use it, come in here, and then beat me.

Don't try the fire escape.

I've pterydactyls guarding it, and coated it with soda (GRAPE!)

There's no asking my Landlord.

I already paid my bill this month, so my cache with him has soared.

And don't bother with the windows.

I've set laser beams and booby traps...

...I really wouldn't mess with those. 

But should you try to come in here,

worst of all, for you I've got in hand,

a case of Blue Sky Jamaican Ginger Ale,

the nastiest of nasties in all the land... 

So there! 

Hello? 

Blue Sky Gangster men?

Where did you GO?!?!

Another great Peeled Snacks HIT...

Happy drinking...