Have you checked out Al Gore’s latest sonorously delivered dose of buzz-kill, “An Inconvenient Truth”?  Well, neither have I, but I GUARANTEE that come its arrival in Netflix, it’ll be #4 in my queue… for a while, probably.  For those of you in the Netflix know, the #4 spot is reserved for that movie that you really think you should see, but which you keep bumping in order to catch Jim Carrey’s latest bit of goofery.

Anyway, were I to have seen “An Inconvenient Truth,” I’m certain that I’d right now be well armed with dozens of reasons why the world is falling apart and it’s all George Dubya’s fault, but seeing as I haven’t caught it (better add it to my Netflix queue now while I’m thinking of it), I have to rely on first-hand experience with which to extol the current administration’s environmental “policy.”  Of late, I get to look at record temperatures across the Rockies, Sedona’s burning Mc-Mansions, and oodles of melted Peeled Snacks Shock-olate.

I’m given to understand by people in-the-know that the term “Global Warming” gives the wrong impression about what’s REALLY going on, and that “Global Climate Change” is a more apt term.  I hardly know the difference, given that the sweltering weather waiting outside my air-conditioned apartment seems to be “changed” only so far as it has been “warmed,” but as the Republican Intelligentsia repeatedly reminds me, I’m no scientist.  I’m just part of a business that has to ship a lot of chocolate to Arizona, and let me tell you, it’s truly a miracle that any chocolate whatsoever is eaten in the American southwest between April and October.  We can safely assume that Arizonans take responsibility for some or all of the Ice Cream manufacturing to satisfy its summertime population of cone lovers, but Arizona remains a LONG way away from Peeled Snacks’ upstate New York plant, nearly as far from Hershey, Pennsylvania, is separated via at least one ocean from Nestlé’s hidden alpine chocolate lairs, and via an astronomical distance from, well, Mars.

Peeled Snacks obviously is painfully new to the trials and travails of distributing chocolate, that sweetest stuff on Earth (invented, no doubt, at 11:58 PM on the 6^th day in heavy anticipation of the 7^th), and we’re right now concocting some radical strategies to meet our customers’ ample Shock-olate demands.  If anyone somehow has a copy of the M&M-Mars playbook, or at least the pages in the playbook that talk about summertime Snickers distribution, I’d be forever in your debt for five minutes alone with the pages and a photocopier…